


Love is Pain

by GamerAlexis



Series: Small Town Klance [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Fights, Getting Back Together, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Sexual Content, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-10-07 16:36:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 34,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10364823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GamerAlexis/pseuds/GamerAlexis
Summary: After finding each other, Lance and Keith rekindle their love from their childhood only with 100% more space and a lot more danger.The thing about falling in love, about being in love, is there's no manual for how to stay in love.  That is a lesson that must be learned and rarely is it learned easily.





	1. Love Builds

**Author's Note:**

> Finally watched S.2 and wanted to go back into this AU of sorts again.
> 
> So, you know, when S.3 comes out there'll probably be more.
> 
> There are a lot of songs that helped to inspire this work but the biggest one is "Let's Hurt Tonight" by One Republic, especially with the final chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> EDIT: This chapter went through a complete overhaul so, for the few who read it prior to the changes, it's a bit longer and, in my opinion, better now. And it also got an entire new chapter because - oops - story went out of hand.

Keith looked down at his hand, intertwined around Lance's. It was their second day on Arus and Allura was still testing the defenses of the castle, allowing the new paladins time to reconnect and settle into this new life. Keith had woken up that morning next to Lance and hadn't left his side the entire day.

It was nearing late afternoon as they walked across the bridge that connected the castle to the mainland. The planet was gorgeous and, other than the extra moon faded in the sky, Arus was very similar to Earth. The castle was settled on a hill looking over an ocean with a forest resting above the pale beach. In a way, it reminded Keith of the hundreds of pictures Lance had of the oceans on Earth.

“The look on Drew's face when he asked to take Angelica on a date was priceless!” Lance said, his face split in a wide grin. “Oh, man I wish you had seen it.”

“Did your mama bring out the rolling pin?” Keith asked.

“Nah, it was the spatula this time.”

Keith laughed and leaned against Lance's shoulder as they walked into the forest. The trees were dark green and the sunlight filtered through the leaves, dampening the air. The air was thick underneath the trees, more intimate than in the open and Keith tightened his grip on Lance's hand.

“And he lived?” Keith prodded.

“Ever the perfect gentleman that night,” Lance nodded. “Although, after what happened with his sister, it makes sense for Mama and Papi to be nervous.”

“Wait, what happened to Emily?” Keith remembered Emily, curly hair and freckles, she was the queen of _Sammy's_ milkshakes, able to take flavors and combine them in wonderful ways. She was best friends with Angelica, sweet and homey and Keith felt worry trickle down his back that something bad happened to her.

Lance went quiet and pulled Keith back to a stop on the path. He leaned against a tree and Keith settled in front of him, grabbing Lance's free hand in his own, friendship bracelets vibrant even in the dim light. Lance pulled up their clasped hands and pressed his lips to the knuckles of Keith's fingers.

“I forget that you weren't there,” he whispered into Keith's fingers. He looked up at Keith, his eyes brimming with tears. “Emily ran away. No one really talked about it. She took her car, left a note saying she was going to the city, and never came back. Angelica cried about it for days. I think that's probably what brought her and Drew together. You know, grieving and all.”

Keith extended his fingers from where they were resting against Lance's chin and brushed over his cheeks, catching the faint tear trails. Lance closed his eyes and another tears slipped down his cheek, catching on Keith's fingertips. Lance turned his head, kissing both of Keith's hands before pulling them down, yanking Keith closer. Keith fell against Lance, his hands automatically coming up to rest against the tree to stop him from crushing Lance.

Their faces were inches apart, close enough that Keith could see the teardrops clinging to Lance's eyelashes. Lance had rested his hands on Keith's hips, his thumbs dipped into the hem of Keith's pants, softly rubbing circles against Keith's hipbones.

“I should have been there,” Keith whispered as he leaned against Lance.

“It's not your fault,” Lance protested. His hands tightened against Keith's hips and he pushed their foreheads together, forcing Keith to look Lance in the eye. “You went with your family, Keith. You went to be with Shiro. I would have done the same to be with Spencer.”

“These people raised me. Mr. Westmyer took me to the hospital when I broke my leg. Emily helped me learn how to ride a bike. I feel like I let you down, all of you.”

“You have never let us down. You went to the Garrison! You, I don't know, transcended our small town, you and Shiro both! Everyone was so proud of you. I was so proud of you.”

Keith pulled back, grabbing Lance's hands from his hips, it was too much to handle, being so close to Lance and hearing the sincerity of his voice. Keith pulled Lance from the tree and led him down the forest path again, hands linked together. Lance stumbled behind him and caught up to Keith, bumping their shoulders together.

“It wasn't the best though. You went there,” Keith said. “You know what kind of people go to the Garrison. Rich.”

“Snobby.”

“Entitled.”

“Pricks.”

“Assholes.”

“Whoa, Keith, let's not get too crazy.”

Laughing, Keith swooped in and kissed Lance's cheek. “They hated that Shiro got chosen for the Kerboros mission and hated me because I got accepted early. Self-entitled pricks.”

“But you're here now,” Lance grinned. “Voltron! Defender of the Universe! You were chosen, Keith. All of us were chosen! Take that, Iverson!”

Keith pulled Lance closer, wrapping an arm around his waist until they were pressed tight, hip to hip and shoulder to shoulder, Lance's own arm draped over Keith's shoulder. They walked through the forest, wandering back to the castle slowly, all the while exchanging stories of Garrison student nightmares. Lance outright gasped at the fist fight Keith got into his first week when someone accused Shiro of cheating to earn the Kerboros mission. Lance countered with story after story of him crashing the flight simulator.

Keith was still laughing at the story of Lance and Hunk sneaking out when they arrived back at the castle. The sun had dropped dramatically since they started their walk and a chill breeze was wafting over the ocean. The castle lit up blue against the orange sky and, side by side, Keith and Lance walked up to the castle.

The door opened for them as they came closer, silhouetting Coran in bright blue light.

“Took you paladins long enough!” Coran called out. “Thought we might have to send a search party for you! Come on in, now, dinner's getting cold. You're going to need a good dinner and a good nights sleep, training begins tomorrow!”

 

Keith had woken up slowly, curled up against Lance in his own room. They had wanted to take their relationship slow but when night approached it was easier to sleep together instead of going their separate ways. More than that, Keith found himself wanting to wake up next to Lance every single morning.

Grinning to himself, Keith leaned over Lance and gently kissed his cheek. Keith ran his fingers down Lance's face, smooth and soft. Keith let out a soft chuckle, remembering when Lance had an oily face, pimples over his cheeks and forehead. Lance committed himself to a perfect skin care routine and it showed.

“I love you,” Keith whispered, those words too tender to yet be spoken when Lance could hear, but still Keith felt it deep in his body and soul that he loved Lance, more than anything.

The castle alarms blared, red lights flashing through the rooms, and Allura's voice echoing over the speaker system. Keith was up in an instant and Lance sat up right next to him.

“Wh – what's happening, babe?” Lance mumbled.

“I don't know, but we have to hurry.”

Keith grabbed his jacket and grabbed Lance by the arm, dragging him to the main room. The crystal in the ceiling was glowing brightly, flashing red in time with the lights. Allura and Coran were fighting over the microphone to the speaker in the middle of the room. The door slid open and Hunk stumbled in, still in his pajamas and yawning. Pidge scurried in behind him, Rover dutifully following behind her and Shiro was last, dressed in his paladin armor and immediately took charge.

“Allura, what's going on?”

“We were testing the alarm system and decided to test you as well,” Allura said. “Guess who lost?”

“Us?” Pidge guessed.

“You must be ready at a moments notice to form Voltron!” Allura said. “He is our only hope in defeating Zarkon. None of you have your weapons and only Shiro is in uniform! If that had been a real attack then Arus would have fallen!”

“Listen, on Thursday we were on Earth,” Hunk said through another wide yawn. “We flew here, formed Voltron, fought some aliens, ate some weird space goo, and now live here. It's been a rough couple of days.”

Allura's shoulder dropped from where she had them tensed up in anger. She smiled and her face softened around the edges. “I understand, Hunk. I know the transition has been difficult for you, but you are now Paladins of Voltron. There are responsibilities you must uphold. Yesterday, you formed Voltron like you've been doing it all your lives. It's clear that you have history together and your camaraderie shows. However, there is still a lot of training ahead of you if you are to form Voltron in an instant.”

“We're ready,” Shiro said.

Keith felt Lance squeeze his hand and they both nodded. They had all grown up together, how hard could some combat training be? Coran nodded and led them through the castle to a training deck. The lights flickered on to a wide room, roughly the size of a basketball court. Coran gestured them to a room onto the side where they could change into their paladins suits and Coran jogged up to the observation deck.

Dressed in their paladin armor with bayards in hand, they waited for their training to begin. They stood in a circle around the middle, chatting softly while waiting for Coran.

“Alright, Paladins, here comes the first test!” Coran's voice came over the speaker system. Keith could see him on the observation deck, pulling across some screens. “This test is about the first law of the paladins: to put the lives of each other above your own. Remember, if you don't protect your team then no one will protect you!”

With a flick of Coran's wrist, a swarm of drones flew into the room. Keith instinctively stepped back, his wrist flashed and a blue light shield appeared. He had Hunk on his left and Pidge on his right. He nudged her shoulder and grinned. She grinned back.

“And begin!” Coran shouted and the drones started firing lasers at them. “Protect your teammates!”

Keith held up his shield and took another step back, blocking the laser beams. Pidge's elbow nudged against his arm and Hunk's shoulder brushed his own. It had been years since he was this close to Pidge but their years of tormenting their older brothers had bonded them forever.

“Increasing intensity!”

The drones sped up to a blur and Keith was having trouble keeping up with the laser beams. He heard Hunk swear beside him and felt a shot graze his arm. Suddenly, Pidge wasn't at his right hand side and Keith immediately filled in the gap. He was so distracted by Pidge's disappearance that he missed a shot headed straight for Hunk.

The floor opened up and Hunk dropped through the ground. Lance stepped back to fill in the gap and, shoulder to shoulder, they kept blocking.

“Don't let me down, babe!” Lance shouted.

Keith jumped at the sound of Lance's voice. A shot fired right next to Keith's face and he lunged to block it from hitting Lance in the shoulder. One of the drones flashed red but Keith couldn't move as the laser fired. He felt the shot hit him on the leg and the ground beneath him vanished. With a startled scream, Keith fell down to an near empty room, dimly lit by a few blue lights. Pidge and Hunk were sitting on the ground, Pidge dragging her finger through the ground while Hunk apologized over and over again, looking close to tears.

“I tried to block it, Pidge!” Hunk cried. “I'm just not that stretchy!”

“Lance wouldn't have let it hit me,” Pidge said stiffly. Hunk made a wounded noise. She looked up at Keith and winked. “What got you in?”

Keith flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. “Um... tried to keep Lance safe.”

“Of course you did.”

The ceiling opened up and Lance fell into Keith's lap, Shiro falling in next. Keith wrapped his arms around Lance and couldn't help but grin. The entire ceiling disappeared and the floor rose up and they were sitting in the center of the training room once again.

“That was very well done!” Coran said. “Plenty of room for improvement, of course, but not bad for a first run! Everyone take a quick breather and then we'll begin our next test!”

Lance sighed and rolled off Keith's lap. He sprawled onto his back on the ground, nudging Keith with his elbow and kicking his feet on Hunk and Pidge. Pidge immediately pushed Lance's foot onto the ground while Hunk rested his hand on Lance's ankle. Keith found his hand reaching down and lacing his fingers together with Lance's.

“That didn't feel very good,” Lance sighed. He wiggled his foot in Hunk's hand “What happened to you, Hunk?”

Hunk let out a dramatic moan and threw Lance's foot off his leg. “I saw the laser coming for me and reached for it but then another one came at, like, the exact same time, which, by the way, is absolute bullshit, and I couldn't block it with my shield and it hit Pidge.”

“After all I did for you in the Garrison,” Pidge shook her head, “this is how you repay me.”

“Keith could have blocked it!”

“Hey!” Keith snapped up from where he was tracing the veins on the back of Lance's hand. Hunk ignored him.

“And the only thing you did for me is take Lance's side whenever you guys had bad ideas!”

“Meadow Springs for life,” Pidge leaned up against Keith, holding up her hands in an 'M' symbol. “You grew up in the wrong town, Hunk.”

“Meadow Springs is twenty minutes away from Clintsdale! I went to high school with Lance!” Hunk spun on the floor and looked at Shiro. “Shiro?”

“Clintsdale and Meadow Springs have been rivals forever,” he shrugged. “Sorry, Hunk. Can't break that kind of rivalry over night.” Hunk looked devastated. Shiro leaned forward and patted him on the shoulder. “But we'll still take you.”

Coran's voice crackled over the speaker, breaking up the laughter between them. “Okay, team, back at it! This test is about a different kind of trust. It's meant for two paladins at a time. Lance, Keith, you two will demonstrate this training exercise first! Everyone come on up here, Lance, you stay there.”

Groaning, Keith stood up and gave Pidge a hand. She grabbed onto Hunk and the two walked towards the observation deck, Shiro jogging up behind them. Lance tugged on Keith's hand before he left, pulling him down and sneaking in a kiss. Keith smiled against Lance's lips before running after the others. In the observation deck, Coran held out a headset for Keith to put on and ushered the rest to sit and watch.

“This is an ancient paladin maze,” Coran explained. “Lance, you will be in the middle of the maze but unable to see it. Keith up here can see it, and you, and he will be guiding you through it. You must trust him completely in order to be successful in this. Are you ready?”

Coran flicked through the holographic screens in front of him and pressed a few of the buttons there. He gestured for Keith to step up beside him and pulled up a map of the maze. Lance was represented on the map as a flashing blue dot.

“Born ready!” Lance called. “Lead me through!”

Keith looked at the maze carefully and then down at Lance's orientation. He was about to start leading Lance through when Coran interrupted them.

“And if you hit one of those walls, you'll experience a small shock! Just another little incentive to be successful.”

Keith's stomach dropped. He looked at Lance who was standing confidently in the room, waiting for instructions. He completely trusted Keith to lead him through safely, not even worried about the electric maze.

“Alright,” Keith said. He was surprised that his voice didn't shake with nerves. “Take two steps forward then turn left.”

Heart in his throat the entire time, Keith focused on Lance's little blue dot and how he could direct it safely out of the electric maze. Lance followed every instruction perfectly and without hesitation.

“Take one step forward, turn right, and then you're out.”

“So if I turn left, I'll hit the wall?” Lance asked.

“Yes. Don't do that.”

“I'm just curious about the shock...”

“Don't you do it!”

Keith knew that Lance had on his trademark smirk, one that had always meant trouble. The smirk that convinced Keith to race down hills in his wheelchair or go rafting during the spring floods. Keith cried out as Lance reached out his left arm.

“Ow, shit!” Lance screeched, yanking his arm back. He turned to glare at the observation deck. “You call that a small shock?! That hurt like hell!”

“Good thing Keith led you through so expertly,” Coran said. “So, who's next?”

“Not fair!” Hunk jumped up. “Those two have been friends _forever_. Let's do something else, Coran. Something outside. I'm getting bored in here.”

Coran's eyes lit up and he twirled his mustache. “As it turns out, I've got a test for you to do with your lions. It'll be an even playing field for all of you.”

 

Keith settled into Red's cockpit and felt her warm presence fill the back of his mind. Keith hummed to himself as he grabbed the controls and flew out of the castle. Red was calm and warm in his head as he flew a few laps around the castle, waiting for Coran's signal.

Blue flew up next to them and practically crashed into Red.

“Watch it, Lance!” Keith shouted, but he was grinning.

In his head, Keith felt Red perk up at the sight of Blue flying beside her. Something like fondness flooded across Keith's mind and Red purred around him.

“Sorry, babe, just excited,” Lance's face popped up on Keith's dashboard. He was grinning apologetically. “We rocked that maze test! I bet we got like, a high score or something.”

“I don't think it works like that,” Keith laughed.

Lance laughed and turned his lion around to go pester Hunk. Keith sighed at the sight of Lance flying away and felt Red's echoing sentiment in his head. Before Keith could push Red for the kind of longing she felt, Coran's face appeared on the dashboard.

This new test was all about the trust between paladins and lions, a trust that was still new and fragile. As they flew in formation, high above the planet Arus, Coran had them push themselves into a nosedive. The adrenaline pumped through Keith's body and he felt like he was on fire. Red was roaring in his mind, her own excitement mixing with his own as they pushed themselves closer to the planet.

Then his helmet visor went completely black.

Lance screamed over the comms and it shattered through Keith's ears. Pidge gasped and Hunk let out a yelp.

“What's happening?” Shiro demanded.

“You must be one with your lions!” Coran's voice was far too chipper. “See the world through the eyes of your lions. You are close with each other so be close to your lions! The goal is to pull up right before you crash into the ground. Good luck!”

Hunk was panicking over the comm system and Lance was right next to him. For the first time in a long time, Keith felt a faint trickle of fear down his spine. He knew the ground was coming up to them fast but he couldn't see through his black visor. A pilot's worst nightmare, crashing to the ground without any sight to save him.

“Calm down, Hunk,” Shiro said. Keith let out a breath at his brother's voice, calm and steady. “We're going to do this, okay? Feel the bond of your lion, feel that connection. We can do this.”

“I can't do this!” Hunk cried out.

“Yes, you can!” Lance shouted. “We ran out of the Garrison in the middle of the night! We skipped class to go to the movies! Dude, we raced on the highways between Sandy and Clintsdale. You got this, buddy!”

“We're in this together now,” Keith spoke up and his hands gripped the handles tight. “And not just us, but our lions too.”

The ground had to be close by now and (against every fiber of his being) Keith closed his eyes. He pushed his mind to match with Red's and felt her presence as hot as fire in his skull. He let her encompass his mind, let that fire burn through his head, down his neck, until he was burning from the inside out.

Suddenly, Keith felt himself leave his body. His hands were no longer wrapped around the controls of Red, but were heavy metal paws. His body was lean, fast, and dangerous. Red was a molten presence in his entire body and Keith was on fire. His bones were lava and his blood was boiling and he opened his eyes.

Instead of the black visor he saw when he closed his eyes, Keith saw Arus come closer. It was a fuzzy, indistinct image of the canyon below. Red was burning through him and Keith felt as if he was about to combust but he could see the planet below.

With a shout, Keith pulled back on the throttle and he and Red safely piloted through the canyon. Success roared through his body, exponentially higher as Red echoed the sentiment. Keith thought he knew flying before, when he first kissed Lance, when he first piloted the simulator at the Garrison, but it was nothing compared to this feeling of being completely one with Red, her mind and his blending together perfectly.

“How did everyone else do?” Shiro's voice cut through Keith's nirvana.

“Red and I did it,” Keith's throat was rough as he spoke and he swallowed thickly. He was still deeply entwined with Red and pulled himself out, forced himself into his own body again. The heat left Keith's body, floated up through his head as Red separated their bond. His body felt cold without her presence.

On his dashboard came everyone's camera feed one by one. Shiro's came first, a smile on his face to rival Keith's. Next came Hunk, his face looked pale and Keith could see the trail of tears on his cheeks. Pidge flickered in, her face as stoic as ever, but Keith could see the tension in her jaw. Then came Lance, grinning from ear to ear and flushed pink.

“I couldn't do it,” Hunk sighed.

“Me neither,” Pidge complained. “Coran said this was an expert level exercise, what did he expect?”

“Lance?” Keith asked.

“I, um, may have gotten myself stuck into a sand dune,” Lance laughed.

“I got him,” Keith volunteered, already spinning Red around to Lance's location on his radar. “You guys go back to the castle, we'll catch up later.”

“Don't be too late,” Shiro said.

“No promises, Shiro!” Lance grinned and over the video feed blew a kiss to the screen. “Come get me, lover boy.”

“Oh, my god, never say that where I can hear it again,” Pidge groaned. “This lion is out.” And her screen flickered off.

“I'll bring him back before the night is over,” Keith promised.

“Don't forget Coran has one last thing for us to do,” Hunk said.

Keith gave a thumbs up and shut off his video transmission.

Over the desert, Keith could see Blue resting on the sand dunes. There was a telling indent in the dune where Lance had crashed. Keith could feel Red perk up at the sight of Blue and she ushered them down to the ground. Red landed right next to Blue, hardly an inch between them. Keith gave Red a mental nudge and she seemed to shrug mentally towards him with the feeling of ' _like you're any better'._

Keith jumped out of the hatch and landed heavily onto the ground, his boots sinking deep into the sand. Lance was reclined on the sand, helmet resting in the distance and a water pouch in hand. Keith took off his own helmet and ran a hand through his hair. He sat down next to Lance, who held out a drink for Keith.

“Took you long enough, baby.”

“What happened to lover boy?”

“That was for Pidge's nightmares.”

Keith laughed and elbowed Lance, who was grinning smugly. “Did she ever tell you why she picked the name Pidge?” Lance shook his head and Keith leaned back into the sand. “When we were kids we would play around with fake names in case we were ever on the run from the government.”

“Conspiracy kids.”

“Shut up. Anyway, it was a thing we did and Pidge Gunderson was one of her names.”

Lance swung his head to Keith, blue eyes wide and leaned in until Keith could see the faint freckles across Lance's cheekbones.

“Tell me one of yours,” Lance insisted. “What fake name did Keith Kogane come up with if he was ever on the run?”

Keith leaned in and kissed Lance instead of answering. Lance kissed back harder and one of his hands rested against Keith's waist. Keith's hand cradled the back of Lance's head, angling the kiss deeper and pushing Lance onto his back in the sand. Lance hummed and Keith could feel fingers run through his hair, nails scratching the scalp and something hot shot down Keith's spine at the pressure.

Red ran through his mind and Keith had the vivid image of him and Lance in the cockpit of Red, paladin suits thrown into the corner and every inch of Lance's dark skin at his disposal. Keith pulled off of Lance and glared at Red. He couldn't – there was no way – it wouldn't be right.

But the idea of finally seeing all of Lance (the freckles on his shoulders, the birthmark on his hip) in this scenario meant something different. This wasn't like swimming in the creek back home, or having sleepovers on the weekends. This meant seeing the blush on Lance's cheeks go down to his chest. This meant hearing Lance's little gasps and whimpers while Keith kissed down his chest, trailed his fingers up Lance's thighs, bit his neck, lined up their hips and –

_Do it!_

“Oh my god, Red!”

“Keith?” Lance was still sprawled on the ground, his cheeks red and hair disheveled. He looked absolutely divine like this and Keith almost took up Red on her offer. But they were taking this slowly and fucking in Red's cockpit was _not_ taking it slowly.

“We should get back,” Keith said, reluctantly leaning away from Lance, away from temptation.

“Do we have to?” Lance whined.

“Did you want our first time in a desert?” Keith asked. Lance hummed thoughtfully and Keith leaned further back. “Oh, my god, no Lance. We're not doing it in the desert.”

“Not in Red either?” Lance suggested with a lifted eyebrow.

“You heard that?!”

“Nah. Blue did.”

“Great, oh great,” Keith stood up and adjusted his pants. “We gotta figure out what's going on between our lions, baby. But seriously, we gotta go back. Coran has more tests for us.”

“If you think that this is going to make me forget about your fake name, you have another thing coming,” Lance promised. “I have my ways.”

“Good luck, sweetheart.”

 

The had two more tests before dinner. The first one, Coran believed they would be able to achieve almost instantly. Coran had them sitting down in a circle, the training room quiet after their flight around Arus. He handed them headbands with sensors attached to them. They were designed to project the thoughts of everyone wearing it into the minds of the others.

“This test is all about being able to meld your minds and focus on one thing: Voltron,” Coran explained over the speaker system. “Everything else had to fade away. Relax and open your minds. There are no walls, no secrets between paladins. Clear everything, focus on forming your lion, bringing them together, and forming Voltron.”

Keith closed his eyes and let his mind open. It felt similar to when he had connected to Red only more artificial, less clear in his head, probably due to the technology that was allowing them to connect mentally.

He could feel Shiro first, his adopted big brother, the strong and stalwart pillar in Keith's life. Keith could _feel_ what Shiro felt, the anticipation of forming Voltron, the fear of losing his friends, the worry of running into Zarkon again, the pride he had in Keith.

Then Pidge floated in, her mental presence was hesitant and guarded and Keith prodded at it, asking her to open up. They were friends, she could trust them. Slowly, Pidge's curious, intelligent mind opened up to Keith. He was swarmed with feelings of revenge and guilt. Pidge had one purpose and that was to find her family.

It was a strange sensation to feel Shiro mentally calm down Pidge through Keith's head. It felt like he was both Shiro and Pidge at the same time. Hunk slipped into their mental bonding next, warm and passionate. He felt like a summer day, running through the wheat fields or driving down dirt roads. Hunk felt like every good feeling that Keith had ever felt in his life.

Then, like the sun that he was, Lance finally merged into their mental huddle with a bang. His feelings and emotions were wild, jumping from thought to thought in flashes, but there was one thought that was at the forefront of his mind, one that Lance seemed to keep returning to between his other thoughts.

Keith, Keith, _Keith_. Keith standing in the rain when they were kids, Keith riding Father Jones's cow behind Lance. Keith framed by stars on a hill back at Meadow Springs. Keith walking on Arus with Lance. Keith holding Lance's hand as they stood together in the castle. The feeling of Keith's lips against Lance's, the way that Keith's hair fell down his neck and how Lance loved to run his fingers through it.

All these images, these feelings, were as warm as rose gold in Keith's mind and he realized that this is how Lance saw him – valuable, gorgeous, stunning. Keith couldn't stop his own feelings from bubbling to the surface in response.

Including his less than innocent feelings of having Lance pinned beneath him in the desert.

“What the _fuck_ , Keith!” Pidge shouted and the tentative moment was broken.

Keith snapped out of the mental exercise. Pidge was out right glaring at him from across the circle and Hunk had his head in his hands, flushed with embarrassment. Shiro refused to make eye-contact, instead staring off at the far wall. Keith looked next to him at Lance. Lance's face was flushed bright red and Keith felt a glimmer of arousal from him.

“Oh, no,” Hunk shook his head. “Nope. You two are not going to have some – some kind of – of – _sex fantasy_ while we're mentally connected!”

“This is not the time, paladins!” Coran shouted from above. “Focus on forming Voltron! Get rid of all your other feelings and focus on your lions! Now try again and _clear your minds_.”

There was a mental touch on Keith's mind. It was Shiro, reminding him that this was a discussion far from over. Keith mentally responded that he was not about to have a sex talk with his big brother in the middle of space.

“Guys!” Hunk cried out.

“Sorry, big guy,” Lance apologized. “But later, Keith?”

“Much later,” Pidge muttered under her breath.

Keith closed his eyes and focused on forming Voltron. With their minds clear, it was seamless to transition their lions into Voltron. Instead of communicating with words, they were communicating with feelings. Shiro didn't have to tell them how to form Voltron, or when, instead Keith just _knew_ as if it were his own thoughts.

They were almost there, both arms were in place, Hunk had slid his lion into position as Voltron's leg and Lance wasn't far behind. The blue lion inched closer and closer. Right as the image of Blue being to attach to Voltron, it fizzled out and was replaced with an image of Keith grinning in Lance's old truck, sunset lighting his face.

“Okay,” Lance stood up and took off his headset. He laughed nervously and tapped his fingers against the blue sensors. “Okay guys, I think that's enough for one day. Don't you think? I feel very mind melded right now and we don't need to be poking around this anymore. Hey, Coran! What else have you got for us? Let's get a move on, eh?”

Keith stood up and was instantly next to Lance. He slid his hand into Lance's, fingers weaving together like puzzle pieces. Lance was shaking and the blush on his face had intensified. He turned to look at Keith; his eyes were wide and nervous.

“Hey,” Keith murmured. “What's wrong?”

“I just was surprised – I didn't expect – that was years ago,” Lance rambled. “It was something I hadn't thought about for years. I wasn't expecting it to appear and I didn't expect it to happen and – ”

“You just projected a dozen memories of me from when we were kids. Why is this one different? You never get embarrassed, Lance.”

Lance took a deep breath. He reached up and rested a hand on Keith's neck, his thumb brushing against Keith's jaw. Keith's breath caught in his chest at the honesty in Lance's brilliant blue eyes. How is it after all these years, Keith was still feeling his heart try and jump out of his chest whenever Lance so much as looked at him?

“Remember when I first got my truck?” Lance was whispering now and they were so close Keith could count Lance's freckles. “And we went driving up to the lookout and the sun was setting and you spent most of your time looking at the stars, like you always did, and the light hit you and you just... glowed. It was the first time I realized that I – that I love you.”

Keith's face burst into a grin and his chest expanded with affection. His free hand came up and curled around the hand Lance had on his neck. Keith was certain he would explode with the joy radiating from him and certainly those were tears he felt in his eyes. In all his life he never expected to hear those words from Lance, much less with so much devotion.

And finally, after keeping his feelings secret for so long, Keith could finally say it back.

“I love you, too.”

Lance's face broke into a smile and there were _definitely_ tears in his eyes, Keith could see them sparkling in the light. Lance leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together.

“I love you,” Lance whispered. “Oh, god, Keith, I love you. I love you so much.”

“I know, babe, I know,” Keith couldn't help the laughter that bubbled through his chest. “I love you too. I've always loved you.”

“Aww, they're so cute!” Hunk cooed.

“Don't encourage them,” Pidge snapped.

“C'mon guys, let them have their moment,” Shiro said.

The door opened and Allura stepped in. She looked fierce in full battle armor and Keith stepped away from Lance, allowing a more respectable distance between them, but Lance's hand remained clasped tight in his.

“Paladins, your teamwork is incredible,” Allura greeted them. She was smiling but her eyes were hard as diamonds. “It is clear that you have years of friendship behind you and these exercises have only proven your closeness. However, you still lack combat training. It is time for you to face the gladiator.”

The gladiator, it turned out, was a combat simulation drone designed with various levels of intensity and difficulty. Armed with their bayards and fully armored, they waited. Keith held his sword in a steady hand and kept a careful eye on Lance.

Fighting was a lot more difficult than just bonding or blocking and, if Keith was honest with himself, it was embarrassing how quickly the gladiator dispatched them. Hunk hadn't looked before he shot and Keith got just barely gotten his shield up in time. Pidge, despite being small and quick, wasn't quick enough. Lance and Keith had gotten thrown together, sprawling across the floor.

And Shiro...

Keith had gotten there barely in time to block the gladiator's staff from smashing into Shiro's face. His brother looked petrified, eyes wide and pupils blown. His face was pale and Keith thought Shrio was going to pass out. The gladiator threw them down to the ground and powered down.

“Shiro?” Keith crawled over to him, putting a hand on Shiro's clammy forehead. “What happened?”

“I – I don't know.”

“Probably a case of PTSD,” Pidge groaned from where she was sprawled over Hunk. “I've been studying it ever since we got Red off Sendak's ship. It makes sense considering Shiro was captured by the Galra for over a year. He's probably been tortured and the trauma caused him to lose some memories and have flashbacks.”

Tortured? Keith had _never_ seen Shiro look that scared before. Angry, concerned, worried, those were the usual emotions that Shiro showed but never that petrified terror; not when Keith broke his leg, not when Keith almost ran away. His stalwart, steady big brother, psychologically torn because of Zarkon and the Galra Empire.

“I'm fine, guys,” Shiro smiled wanly. “It was just a surprise is all. It won't happen again.”

Pidge sat up and adjusted her glasses, the lens flashing in the light. “Have you been having nightmares and, if so, how long to they last? Do you have any other memories of being captured? What causes this triggers?”

“Look, this isn't the time for psychoanalysis,” Lance interjected. “If he says he's fine, then he's fine, yeah?”

“I don't think that's how this works...” Keith said, glancing over at Shiro who looked far too pale for Keith's liking.

Allura came down from the deck, Coran behind her. Her face was impassive, mouth set in a firm line and eyes narrowed. Keith straightened up as she approached.

“That was a difficulty set for an Altean child,” she said, not unkindly. “It is clear that you have had no combat training. Zarkon will not always be in a ship for you to pilot your lions into battle. You must be prepared to fight in close quarters like this. This will be the focus of our training from now on. Coran and I will come up with a training schedule for the next few days while we continue to repair the castle.”

“Does that mean it's dinner time?” Hunk asked and Allura's smile warmed.

“Yes, Paladins. You had all worked exceptionally hard today. You've earned it.”

Hunk and Lance were already bounding for the dining area and Pidge chased after them. Coran had his tablet out and he and Allura discussed training plans. The door slid shut behind them and Keith was left alone with Shiro.

“We better hurry,” Shiro said. “Don't want to miss more of Coran's famous food goo.”

“What happened?” Keith asked. “I've never seen you like that before.”

Shiro sighed. “Guess we're having that talk now, huh?”

“I'm serious!” Keith said. “What happened to you? Why did you freeze up like that?”

“Pidge said it. PTSD. I don't remember everything that happened to me, but I remember seeing the sentries come after me and when the gladiator came I just... I dunno, Keith... I felt like I was _back_ there, trapped and under pain of death and – ” Shiro broke off as his voice cracked.

“Hey, we'll get through this,” Keith said and he knelt down by Shiro. “Just one day at a time, right?”

“Right,” Shiro nodded. “One day at a time. C'mon, let's get dinner.”

Everyone else had already gathered at the table waiting for them, Lance saved a spot for Keith between him and Pidge. The table was covered with dishes of green goo and Keith's stomach growled at the sight. He never thought he'd see the day when he was looking forward to space food goo, but here he was.

Coran pulled out a remote and pressed a button. Large white cuffs snapped onto their wrists, each connected to each other and allowing little room more movement. Keith pulled his hand and Lance's followed.

“Surprise test!” Coran crowed. “You've all bonded as paladins already but there's nothing wrong with a little more so this is the final team building exercise of the day. Eating while handcuffed to each other! You'll have to work together if you want to eat.”

“Coran,” Hunk said and Keith didn't realize his voice could go that low. “I want you to think about what you're doing.”

“It can't be that difficult,” Lance waved his hand and Keith's hand followed. “We just have to work together to eat, no biggie!”

As it turned out, having someone else in control of their arms made eating difficult. Every time Keith had his spork to his mouth, either Pidge or Lance moved and took Keith's hand with it. Looking down the table, he realized no one else was having much more success. Hunk had given up using his hands entirely and slammed his face onto his plate.

“We just need to take turns,” Shiro said. “We can't use both hands at the same time.”

“This is so dumb!” Keith snapped as Pidge yanked his hand away. “Allura, we did our training! Let us eat!”

“You do not yell at the Princess!” Coran snapped.

“Princess?” Pidge scoffed. “Of what? She's not our princess and I want to eat, dammit!”

Keith didn't see it, but suddenly a blob of green goo was flying across the table and smashed into Pidge's face. They all turned to see Allura standing at her spot at the table, spork still dripping with goo. Allura smirked.

“Go loose, Pidge!” Keith cried out and moved their hands to fling the plate of goo at Allura.

Only Coran was there blocking it and flinging another batch across all of them. Keith could feel the goo drip down his hair and smeared over his cheeks. He and Lance locked eyes and laughed.

“Food fight!”

It was tricky with their hands cuffed together, but they put up a valiant fight against Allura and Coran. Shiro and Lance used Hunk's face to spray goo across the table. Keith had himself diving in front to take the brunt of an attack while Pidge and Lance jumped in underneath him.

By the end of it, the entire dining hall was covered with goo and they were all laughing. It was easily the most fun Keith had ever had. Pidge was leaning up against him, crying with laughter. Keith interlaced his fingers with Lance and leaned in for a kiss.

“No PDA at the table!” Hunk shouted and yanked Lance forward. Lance yelped and smashed his face against the table.

“You have done admirably, paladins,” Allura said, looking over them with fondness. “With a little more training, I know that you will be an unstoppable force against Zarkon. Coran and I have created a training schedule for you. We'll start in the morning.”

That night, Keith pulled up the training schedule on his tablet. Lance grumbled and curled further into Keith's chest, away from the bright light. Most of the schedule was filled with combat training, both in the training deck and in space with their lions. With luck, the castle would be ready to fly within the week which left plenty of time for them to start training.

“Turn it off,” Lance mumbled, pushing the tablet away. “Sleep now.”

Keith turned off the tablet and tucked Lance underneath his arms. This was probably going to be the last full night of sleep they were going to have.

* * *

Sitting on the couch in the common room, Keith was cycling through his tablet picture reel deleting the blurry ones that Lance had taken of the Arus landscape. It was a rare, quiet moment between training hours and Keith intended to make the most of it. Lance was off with Hunk, racing around the castle and trying to coordinate their leg position in Voltron.

The door slid open and Pidge dropped down next to Keith in the common room, Rover beeping behind her. Her tablet was open in front of her and she was tapping away. She had been on edge since they came back with the Galra prisoners a few days ago and Keith knew it was because of Matt.

It wasn't fair, Keith realized, that he got his brother back and Pidge didn't. He knew that she hadn't been sleeping, saw the bags grow underneath her eyes with every passing day. She dropped herself on the sofa and flung her feet onto Keith's lap. Pouting, she tapped furiously on the tablet, an furrow appearing on her forehead. Rover beeped sadly next to Pidge's shoulder.

“Remember when we switched every pair of socks they had?” Keith mentioned casually, dropping his hands onto her ankles, rubbing at the fragile bones.

Pidge snorted. “Matt was so certain he didn't own any planet patterned socks but I managed to convince him that he had always had them and left one sock to Shiro as a present.”

Keith laughed. “And he bought it?”

“I sold it,” Pidge gave Keith a twisted, trademark devious little sibling smirk. Keith had it and even Lance had it thought it wasn't as good as Gabi's. Pidge nudged his thigh with her socked foot. “What about Shiro?”

“He never paid attention to his socks,” Keith rolled his eyes. “The entire joke was completely lost on him. He didn't even believe Matt when he said Shiro was stealing all his socks.”

“That's a damn shame, Kogane,” Pidge shook her head slowly. “All that work for no reward.”

“ _You_ switched our socks?!”

Keith dropped Pidge's feet and he spun around in the sofa so fast he almost had whiplash. Shiro was standing at the door with wide eyes and his mouth dropped open in plain shock. In all his life, Keith had never seen such betrayal in his brother's eyes.

“Tha- that was years ago!” Keith spluttered. “You didn't know?”

“Is that why Matt kept his socks locked in a different drawer when we were at school together? I _knew_ that wasn't normal!”

Pidge and Keith made eye-contact and they both burst into laughter. Shiro was frozen in place, completely gobsmacked. Keith couldn't help the pride in his chest at the knowledge that the prank he and Pidge came up with on a whim lasted for so long.

The door slid open and Allura walked in with Coran by her side, the two of them pausing in whatever conversation they were having at the sight of Keith and Pidge keeled over in laughter while Shiro burned red with embarrassment.

“Are we interrupting something?” Allura asked.

Shiro, if possible, went even more red and Keith laughed even harder, curling over Pidge's legs who was also laughing uncontrollably.

“I was looking for you, Pidge,” Allura said, ignoring Shiro's embarrassment entirely. “The refugees are about to wake up if you wanted to speak with them.”

Pidge was up in an instant, sprinting for the infirmary. Shiro hesitated for a second before following her out the room. Their voices faded away as the door slid shut and Keith turned his attention back to his photo reel. The next dozen photos were of Keith sleeping next to Shiro in the common room and following were pictures of Shiro carrying Keith to his bed.

Keith grinned and saved those pictures.

Allura looked over Keith's shoulder and tapped on one of the pictures, blowing it up on the screen. It was a beautiful picture of Allura standing in the doorway of the castle, looking out over Arus. Her hair was loose, flowing in a slight breeze and the light of the castle cast her in a blue light against the greenery of the forest.

“Did you take this?” Allura asked.

“No, Lance did,” Keith said. “He never uses his own but he's a natural at it.”

“They're beautiful,” Allura said. “May I see some more?”

Before Keith could offer to show her the rest of Lance's photo collection, an alarm blared across the castle. Keith moved with instinct, having trained for this in the past few days. He dropped his tablet on the sofa, made sure his bayard was at his side, and ran with Allura to the main room.

Lance and Hunk were already there and Coran had a video feed on the main screen. It was one of the castle outer cameras, one that faced the bridge that Keith had walked across with Lance hundreds of times.

“What is it, Coran?”

“It appears we have a visitor!” Coran pointed to the little creature running across the bridge, little sword in hand.

Immediately, Keith was suspicious. This was an attack, a small, rather embarrassing attack, but definitely an attack on the castle. Keith raised up his bayard and rested a hand on Lance's shoulder, prepared to pull him back and fight off the intruder.

“A local Arusian!” Allura was vibrant. “Let's greet him.”

“No, princess!” Keith protested. “We know nothing about him!”

“The Altean way is a way of peace,” Allura insisted. “We have been living on their planet for ten thousand years, the least we can do is introduce ourselves.”

Keith looked up at the camera feed and caught the Arusian staring at them, hiding behind a small boulder. He couldn't have been more than three feet tall.

“He's so cute!” Lance cooed. “Let's go meet him! I wanna knit him a sweater!”

Lance grabbed Hunk and they followed everyone else down to the front of the castle. Keith couldn't shake his paranoia and double checked his weapon. The Arusian may have been small, but he was armed and, in Keith's mind, dangerous. He wasn't about to let anyone die by being too friendly with local aliens.

The Arusian was a warrior named Klaizap, the bravest in their village. Over the past thousand years, the Arusians had made the Castle of Lions a religious icon and Allura was known to them as the Lion Goddess. With the recent fights against Sendak, the Arusians feared their deity was angry with them and Klaizap was sent to plead for forgiveness.

“The Lion Goddess is not angry,” Allura said. “Please, Klaizap, take us to your village so I may meet your leader.”

“It could be dangerous,” Keith warned.

“Our mission is to spread peace and diplomacy,” Allura said. “When Voltron was first created, my father created an alliance across the universe. Zarkon betrayed that alliance and has started his rule of tyranny. Now that we have Voltron back again, we can recreate the Voltron Galactic Alliance.”

Lance slipped his hand into Keith's and followed Allura and Klaizap down to his village. It was a small village and Keith was struck with a sudden homesickness for Meadow Springs. The Arusians were walking between small huts on dirt roads with bags of food on their arms and children running around their legs.

“It's like home,” Lance whispered. “Oh, they're adorable!”

Allura greeted the Arusian King graciously and they were treated to a Dance of Apology, one they believed would placate the irate Lion Goddess. It was a simple dance and, when it was over, they celebrated their new alliance.

Hunk was particularly popular among the Arusians, dozens of them jumping into his arms and on his back. Coran had one cuddled up in his arms. Even with Keith holding Lance's hand, an Arusian jumped into his arms. Keith didn't hug strangers very often, but _wow_ the Arusian was cuddly.

Lance tugged at Keith's hand and dragged him down the street and out of the main center of the town. They sat down beneath a tree, hands still intertwined. Keith threw a leg over Lance's and leaned against the tree.

“Still think they're dangerous?” Lance teased.

“Better safe than sorry,” Keith countered.

“They're three feet tall!”

“They sent their greatest warrior.”

“Galra empire or three foot Klaizap,” Lance lifted up his hands. “I think Galra wins out.”

The sky lit up and Keith jumped onto his feet dropping Lance's hand. A ship of some sort was breaking the atmosphere. It was a purple and gaining speed towards the planet. Lance was up next to him, a hand on his shoulder.

“Oh no,” Keith breathed. “That's Galra.”

“We gotta get to our lions,” Lance said.

They ran back to the center of the town and the Arusians were panicking, running through the town in a mob. Coran was corralling them into a cave with Allura and Hunk ran out to meet with Lance and Keith in the courtyard. Hunk slammed his helmet on his head, Keith pulled out his bayard, and Lance hailed Pidge and Shiro over the comm units.

“Did you see the ship?” Lance cried out as they ran to their lions. “Shiro, Pidge?”

“Yeah, we saw it,” Shiro said, out of breath. “It looks like some kind of crazy, giant, robot, definitely Galra.”

“We're coming, Shiro!” Keith shouted and jumped into Red. She growled underneath of him and they took off.

The giant monster was in a canyon, glowing purple and at least twenty to thirty feet tall. It carried a giant torch with a glowing purple orb attached to it. Shiro and Pidge were on the ground in their lions. They flew up and gathered in the air with the rest.

Before Shiro could say “Form Voltron!” they were already flying to the sky. As they connected into Voltron, Keith felt the others connect in his mind. Pidge and Shiro were shaken up but there was something else in Pidge's subconscious, something close to anger.

“Alright, team,” Shiro said. “Let's do this!”

The problem with this enemy, Keith realized quickly, was that it flanked Voltron with the orb and they couldn't keep an eye on both at the same time. Their connection was still fragile, still new to them and trying to keep Voltron in one piece while fighting a strange creature was literally pushing them into the ground.

“How do we beat this guy?” Hunk asked. “We can't watch for both at the same time!”

“I'm gonna kick it!” Lance announced.

“Don't you even think about it!”

Too late, Lance pushed them in the air and extended himself forward, aiming for the purple orb. If Lance did it, kicked that orb out of the air, Keith was gonna reward him so good. And, of course, Lance missed and the orb smacked Voltron in the face. Keith kept back his snide remark but just barely.

“Why are we so bad at this?!” Lance shouted. “Allura said we were bonding! She said we were gonna be good! What's wrong with us?”

“Shiro and I are the only ones with extensive pilot training,” Keith said. “You three are still new to this. And everything on this dashboard is in Altean! Of course we can't do everything right away. We're still learning too.”

“Well, we better learn quick before this monster kills us!” Hunk said. “Orb!”

“Shiro? What do we do?” Keith asked. “Shiro?”

“I've seen him before,” Shiro said softly. “Back on Zarkon's prison! The orb can fly around three times before it has to charge and that third time is our best chance to attack. Pidge, keep the shield up.”

Three shots later and the shield shattered. Pidge fired and the robot monster fell in a cloud of smoke and dirt. Keith had a cheer at the edge of his lips when the monster stood up, orb glowing and sparkling against the sky.

“That didn't work!” Lance yelled.

“I had a sword last time,” Shiro muttered. “But how are we gonna get a sword?”

Red purred through Keith's mind as Hunk shouted about another attack. A panel rose up on his right and in his head, Keith could see himself slamming his bayard into the slot. Red hummed through him and then growled as the creature fired the orb again.

“I got an idea!” Keith shouted. “Get ready!”

The orb hit Voltron for the third time and Keith felt Red growl within his mind. With an almighty shout, Keith slammed his bayard into the slot and twisted it. A giant sword appeared out of Red's mouth and Voltron lunged forward, swinging the sword and slicing the monster in half.

“We did it!” Pidge shouted with laughter. “We did it, guys!”

“Let's go back to the castle,” Shiro said. “We did good work out there today.”

“Other than Lance's kick,” Keith snickered.

“I think you were badass enough for both of us, sweetie,” Lance replied.

“You know, I don't think it works that way,” Keith said. “But whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“You help me sleep at night.”

“I mean...”

“Really? Really guys?”

“Low hanging fruit, Pidge.”

“I hate you.”

* * *

The farewell party to the Arusians was as extravagant as they could make it with their limited supplies. The Arusian King had put on a play depicting the victory Voltron had over the Galra monster. Keith and Lance applauded from where they were standing in the crowd. It was hard to believe that they would be leaving the planet in a few short days.

Keith and Lance were standing beside each other during the play, hands interlocked, shoulder to shoulder. Hunk came up to them, all of them holding a cup of some alien drink. Keith took a quick drink. It took every ounce of dedication for Keith to swallow the purple liquid instead of vomiting it right back up. It tasted like the grease trap of _Sammy's_ restaurant mixed with sweaty socks.

“Oh, shit, that's foul,” Keith coughed. “God, don't drink it.”

Lance lifted the cup to his lips. Keith shot his hand out and stopped Lance. Lance only laughed and tipped the drink into his mouth. Lance gagged and slammed a hand on Keith's shoulder squeezing it tightly.

“What the fuck,” he stared straight at Keith, his eyes watery. “I am so betrayed.”

Coran stepped up to them, holding his own cup. “It's Nunvill! This is the nectar of the gods and, also makes a great hair tonic!”

“Hair tonic?!” Lance screeched.

“It's not that bad,” Hunk shrugged, taking another drink of the Nunvil. “I mean, once you get over the vomit inducing taste.”

“You're kidding,” Keith said. Lance nodded weakly against Keith's shoulder. “That stuff is disgusting.”

Hunk took another long drink and both Keith and Lance flinched at it. Lance groaned and tucked his head into Keith's shoulder. Keith had his arm around Lance's shoulder, patting him consolingly and whispering softly. Shiro was walking down to the entrance before getting waylaid by Pidge. Lance straightened up and grabbed another cup of Nunvill.

“We should probably get used to this,” Lance mentioned, looking at it dubiously. “Who knows when we'll get home again?”

“If we ever get back home,” Hunk said.

Lance stiffened and the hand he had in Keith's tightened.

“What do you mean?” Lance asked.

“Zarkon's been ruling the universe for ten thousand years,” Hunk explained. “How long do you think it'll take us to take him down? If we live, you know. We could be here for a long time.”

“Don't talk like that,” Keith said. “We're going to go home.”

“Still,” Hunk shrugged. “It's a big universe. Who knows how many planets we'll come across. Who knows how long we'll be doing this. Might as well accept it. Hey, you think we'll come across a nacho planet?”

“Does it matter?” Lance swirled his drink and stared down at it. “There's only one planet that matters. One that has Varadero beach and _Sammy's_ milkshakes, and the pizza shack over the ocean and the church on the hill and my mama and – and – ” Lance's lip wobbled. “I'm sorry, I gotta go.”

Keith tugged on Lance's hand as he turned away. Lance had tears in the corner of his eyes and Keith wanted to pull him close and never let him go. He hated seeing Lance so distraught. He knew that Lance missed Meadow Springs just as much as he did, if not more. Keith had Shiro but Lance had left his entire family behind and not even Keith could fill that void.

“I'll be fine, babe,” Lance said and leaned in to kiss Keith on the cheek. “I just need time to think. I'll be back soon.”

“I love you,” Keith said

“Love you too.”

And Keith let Lance slip away from the party.

Hunk stared at him with a knowing glint in his eye. Keith stared back.

“What?”

“You got it bad, man,” Hunk said.

“Oh, shut up,” Keith rolled his eyes and took a drink of the Nunvill.

Pidge and Shiro walked up to where Keith and Hunk were chatting with the Arusians. Pidge had a backpack on her shoulder and Rover floating beside her. She and Shiro weren't making eye contact. Keith set down his cup on a floating tray as Allura stepped next to Shiro, a hand on his elbow.

“What's wrong?” Keith asked. “Pidge, why the bag?”

“I'm sorry, guys, I really am,” Pidge started. “I hacked into the information that I stole from Sendak's ship and I may have a lead on my family. I did a lot of thinking about it and I think it's best if I go on a quick scouting mission, just to see if I can find them.”

“What about Voltron?” Keith asked. “Without you or Green, we can't form Voltron.”

“I won't be gone long!” Pidge explained. “Just a month or so. I just need to know, guys. I need to find my family.”

“And what happens when Zarkon comes while you're gone and we're short one lion?” Keith asked. “We're a team. You can't leave, Katie!”

Pidge snapped her mouth shut and her eyes hardened. Keith felt regret low in his gut. That was a low blow and he knew it.

“Don't you _dare_ tell me what to do,” Pidge snapped. “You have your brother back, Keith, but I don't have mine! Wouldn't you do this if you didn't have Shiro? Wouldn't you do the same? _Didn't_ you do the same?”

“That's different!”

“Guys, stop it,” Shiro interrupted. “Pidge, you know that Keith didn't mean it. And Keith, calm down. We can't force people to stay, that's not how a team works.”

“I'm not leaving the team forever, just until I follow this lead,” Pidge said. “I want my family back, Keith.”

“Well, so do I,” Hunk said. “But you don't see me hopping into the nearest wormhole to head back to Earth. Unless, of course, I can do that. Can I do that?”

“Wait, you want to leave too?” Allura interjected and Keith didn't miss her hand squeezing Shiro's elbow tighter.

“Of course I do!” Hunk said emphatically. “I miss my family, I miss eating poi and going fishing with my dad. If there was any chance I could go back, I would take it in a heartbeat.”

“But Voltron – the universe,” Allura said.

“I'm not leaving Voltron!” Pidge shouted. “Fucking quiznak, guys. It's a simple scouting mission and I'll be back with more information about my dad and Matt. Universe is still saved and I have my family back.”

“Don't you think it's too dangerous to do this mission alone?” Shiro said. “We're much better together as a team. Matt was my best friend, Pidge, I want to save him just as much as you.”

Pidge looked like she was considering it, biting her lip and looking down. Keith reached out and touched her shoulder.

Then the entire Castle of Lions shook. It sounded like an explosion to Keith and he turned to the staircase only to see bits of the ceiling falling. The Arusians ran out of the castle, screaming in terror back to their village. Keith immediately glanced around for any sight of Lance only to not see the familiar blue armor anywhere.

He left the party, Keith remembered. Lance walked up the stairs and didn't come back. He was sad, homesick, and most likely distracted. Knowing Lance's luck, he was going to be right in the middle of the explosion. Panic, grim and cold, settled into Keith's chest and he sprinted up the stairs, the others close behind.

They came to the main control room, the blue light completely faded from the castle. A broken crystal was shattered on the ground, scorch marks all around it. Coran groaned from his spot on the ground and stood up gingerly, holding onto Hunk for support, but Keith didn't pay attention to any of that.

All he saw was Lance, unconscious on the ground. Keith ran and dropped next to Lance, pulling him up into his arms, tenderly running fingers down Lance's cheeks, dragging through the soot.

“Lance?” Keith whimpered.

He could hear veryone else was talking about the castle and the broken crystal but it sounded muted to Keith, something about the castle being power to the ship, but Keith wasn't really listening. He put a hand on Lance's throat, feeling the fluttering pulse there.

This was _his_ fault, Keith realized. If he hadn't let Lance walk away he might not be here. If he hadn't brought up going home then Lance's homesickness wouldn't have kicked in and Lance wouldn't be dying on the ground. This was his fault, it was all his fault. Keith should have been there, should have followed Lance up the stairs and kept him safe.

The Arusian King ran in, crying about his village in a panic. Galra soldiers were there and attacking. Allura and Shiro discussed their options, but without their lions they were defenseless.

Keith ran his hand through Lance's hair, it was always so soft even now, with debris caked through it. Keith half expected Lance to open his eyes and blush like he did every other time Keith woke him up this way. But he didn't because Lance wasn't sleeping. Keith's hands tightened in Lance's hair and he forced himself to let go.

“Will you not help us?” the King pleaded.

“I'll go,” Keith said. He gently set Lance back on the ground and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. He stood up and faced Allura and the King. His hands were clenched into fists at his side. “It's the Galra who did this, who attacked the castle, who hurt Lance. If they're in the village then I have to go.”

“Keith...” Shiro started.

“No, Shiro,” Keith shook his head, blinking back his tears. “I need to do this.”

Keith's entire being rejected the idea of leaving Lance, unconscious and hurt, without him. As much as he hated to admit it, Keith was scared. He was scared and sad and wanted to grab Lance and take him far away. But this wasn't the time to be sad.

Keith stood up and nodded to his brother. There was no one else Keith could have asked to watch over Lance. Shiro grabbed Keith by the shoulders and pulled him in for a tight hug. Keith buried his face in Shiro's chest and took a heavy breath. He was so glad Shiro was here with him, his big brother who knew him better than anyone, who knew how much Lance meant to him.

“I'll take care of him,” Shiro whispered into his ear.

“Thank you,” Keith whispered back. He let go of Shiro and rubbed at his eyes. This was not time to be sad.

Shiro knelt down and took Lance into his own arms. Lance rolled over limply, not even a groan escaping his lips. There was time to be sad and time to be scared, but this wasn't it. Keith set his teeth and stormed from the castle.

This was time to get angry.

 

The Arusin village was burning and Keith didn't hesitate to run straight into the chaos, Galran sentries attacking from the center of town. He ignored Allura's call and sprinted down the hill. They did this to Lance, the Galra broke into the castle and hurt Lance. Keith had always been hotheaded and vengeful, a trait that plagued his family since he was adopted, but he had never felt the need for revenge this strongly.

Then again, Lance's life had never been at stake before.

Keith rolled to a stop behind a building and peered around the corner. The five sentries were standing there, broken and unmoving. Keith watched as they fell over in pieces, arms and legs sparking with electricity.

“There is no invasion,” Keith whispered to himself. “The castle!” Keith pinged on his comm unit and ran back up the hill. “Allura! It's a distraction! They wanted to separate us from the castle!” _And me from Lance_ , Keith thought.

He ran right past Allura and towards the castle. The particle barrier was starting to come down, purple hexagons flashing against the night sky. Just a little further and Keith could slide in and get back to Lance. His lungs were burning, his thighs felt like they were on fire but still Keith ran. He had to get to Lance. Keith sprinted the last stretch, his hand reaching out and Lance's name on the tip of his tongue. He ran and--

\--crashed right into the barrier.

“NO! We have to get in there!” Keith cried out, slamming himself against the barrier, as if sheer force of will could break through. “Lance is in there! He's hurt and I'm _not there_. Allura, we have to get in!”

Allura placed a slender hand on Keith's shoulder and her gentle touch was enough for him to hold back. Keith fell to his knees and leaned against the barrier. It had been so easy in training to forget that there was a real war, with real consequences, happening around them.

“Keith?” Pidge's voice was soft in his helmet. “Keith, I'm in the castle. What do I need to do?”

“Pidge?” Allura yanked Keith's helmet into her own hands. “Oh, thank the gods. Pidge, I need you to go the control room. I'll walk you through it.”

It took forever. Keith kicked the shield and swung his bayard, waiting for it to go away. He could only imagine what was happening to Lance. There hadn't been any Galra ships since they crashed Sendak's ship so the Galra inside must be from that ship. The question is whether or not Sendak remained alive. If Sendak was in the castle with Lance. Keith shuddered and punched the particle barrier.

“I got it!” Pidge exclaimed over Keith's helmet.

Keith didn't hesitate to sprint into the castle, Allura right behind him. He followed the sound of Pidge's shouts until he came back up to the main deck, Shiro and Lance on the ground and a glowing red crystal plugged into the castle's power system.

Standing over them was a tall Galran soldier – Sendak. Hot anger shot down Keith's spine at the sight. Shiro started to move and Pidge darted from cover, taking a swing at Sendak. Keith followed, only to be thrown off and sent flying across the room.

A blue bolt glanced off Sendak's armor and Lance was sitting up, his face twisted in pain. His bayard flashed as he slumped against the wall with a groan and Keith's heart stopped. Pidge shot her bayard at Sendak, severing his mechanical arm. Allura ran up to the console and started tapping the buttons on the screen. With a massive kick, Keith pushed Sendak behind the crystal barrier, effectively trapping him as Allura brought the barrier down.

Without taking a breath, Keith ran to Lance's side, helping him up and cradling him in his arms. His breath was way too shallow for Keith's liking and his skin was pale and clammy. Keith remembered when Lance had the flu back when they were kids and he was laid up in bed for almost a month, clammy and delirious.

“You better not be dead, you bitch,” Keith snapped, vision going blurry with tears. “I swear, Lance, I will kill you myself if you die now.”

Lance's eyes flickered open and warmed at the sight of Keith. Keith let out a shuddering breath and the hot tears spilled down his cheeks. Lance's eyes were a stunning blue and, for a moment, Keith was worried he would never see them again.

“We did it,” Lance said with a small smile. “We're a good team, babe.”

His eyes rolled back and Lance slumped into Keith's arms.

Allura led Keith to the infirmary in a solemn procession. Lance was heavy in Keith's arms and more than once Shiro stepped by to try and take Lance, but Keith just tightened his grip and kept walking. Hunk was a solid presence next to him and Keith could see the tear tracks down his cheeks.

Lance had been a friend to all of them. Keith remembered the two of them saving all their money to buy a book for Pidge on her tenth birthday. Keith remembered sitting with Lance in his kitchen hearing all the dumb things he and Hunk got up to in school.

Allura set up a cryopod and gestured for Keith. Gingerly, Keith placed Lance in the cryopod and Allura hit a few buttons on the panel next to it. The pod flashed with blue, cold air and a screen of vitals popped up on the pod.

It would take a few days for Lance to fully recover. He had been close to the explosion, saved Coran from the brunt of it. His internal organs were shaken from the blast wave and a few of his ribs were cracked. Coran mentioned dinner and Allura latched onto the idea fast, pushing the paladins to the dining hall.

Keith shook his head and planted himself down at the feet of Lance's cryopod. He pulled out his tablet and refused to look up and see the pitying looks of everyone else as they shuffled out to dinner. Shiro ruffled his hair on his way out, fingers lingering against Keith's skull. The door slid shut and Keith let himself fall loosely against the pod, tablet tight in his hand.

“I just got you back,” Keith said softly to the silent air. He blinked and let the hot tears roll down his cheeks. “I can't – I can't lose you again, Lance.” Keith paused for a shaky breath and his hands were white knuckling the tablet. He pried his fingers off and wiped at his tears.

“I never told you about the night I left, did I?” Keith muttered, if only to keep the silence at bay. He toyed with the red bracelet on his wrist. “My parents told me we were moving that afternoon. It was so sudden because of Shiro's acceptance to be part of the Kerboros mission. They had scrambled to pack up everything in two days and we left in the morning. But I knew I couldn't leave without seeing you one last time.

“And then you kissed me and, Lance I swear, I thought my world exploded. I mean, in a good way, you know? I had dreamed of it, of you, since we were twelve. You were so vibrant, so bright, like the sun and I felt like the moon, destined to reflect that light forever. And I had to leave and I was sure I'd never see you again.”

Keith rested his head against the cryopod, still twisting the bracelet around his wrist.

“I mean, it was worth it, to see Shiro again, but I wished I had at least explained myself to you instead of... I don't know, abandoning you. I thought about you every day. I wondered if you had moved on, if you were going to California to study marine biology like you dreamed of. And then-” Keith laughed, “-and then you appeared out of nowhere with Pidge and Hunk and, god, I couldn't believe it was you.”

Pulling up the tablet, Keith swiped up on it to unlock it, opening his camera roll. Lance had taken hundreds of pictures since Keith last opened his tablet (though how he kept getting it was beyond Keith). There were pictures of the Arusians cuddling up with all the paladins, pictures of Allura standing in the front of the castle, back lit by the sun, pictures of Hunk and Pidge up to their wrists with wires, pictures of Shiro with Keith in a headlock, and countless pictures of Keith and Lance. Selfies with their lions and pictures of Keith reading and sleeping and training.

He slid through the pictures, slowly starting to smile at the ridiculous faces Lance was fond of making. Keith stopped at the first picture on his tablet. He took it on their first official day as Voltron Paladins. It was a picture of Lance on the sofa in the common room laughing at something Hunk had said. He looked so alive, so vibrant and Keith felt his smile go a little sad.

Soon, Keith reminded himself, soon Lance would be back up to his normal self again, bouncing around and walking hand in hand with Keith. He just had to wait.

Pidge came in a few moments later, a plate of food goo in hand and her own tablet tucked under her arm. She shoved the plate at Keith and sat down next to him. Hunk wandered in next, carrying three pillows and a few massive blankets. He threw them down on the ground by Lance's pod and sat down on the other side of Keith.

“Where's Rover?” Keith asked, the little robot was never far behind Pidge.

“Died,” Pidge muttered. “Sacrificed himself to save me and help bring down the shield.”

“Oh, Pidge.”

“First my family, now my robot,” Pidge grumbled. “And one of my best friends. What more can Zarkon take from me?”

“We're still here,” Keith said. “And we'll get your family back and Lance too. We're fine.”

Pidge sighed and shut down her tablet. She leaned against the pod, her head resting against Keith's shoulder. She sniffed heavily and buried her face into Keith's neck. Her life had been one misadventure after another. Keith looked over to Hunk, pleading for help.

“Lance hates flying,” Hunk said suddenly. “I'm sure you all knew that already. He begged me to help him get into the Garrison after you moved, Keith. It took forever, I don't think you understand. He had no engineering skills, no piloting skills, hated space travel, but he did it, all to find you. I just hope you know how important you are to him.”

Keith knew, of course he knew. He had grown up with Lance, listened to him go on and on about the beauty and vastness of the ocean and sang praises of its depths. Lance thrived on the heavy pressure of the ocean while Keith longed for the empty void of space. Lance had always said they were the best kind of opposites, the kinds that were the same.

“I remember Lance teaching me how to ride a bike,” Pidge said softly. “Matt was going to do it but he cried the first time I fell and scraped my knee. So Lance decided to teach me. He was, oh god, he was so funny. Kept trying all these tricks to help me keep my balance and then – ”

“You crashed right into him,” Keith finished her story. “I remember that. He had a bruise on his forehead for weeks; I thought I'd never hear the end of it.”

Pidge laughed and Hunk jumped in with another story about Lance pranking their English teacher. They devolved from story to story about Lance and cocooned themselves in the blankets and pillows, effectively creating a nest at the base of Lance's cryopod. Shiro dropped in the room next, looking at the three of them fondly.

“Don't stay up too late,” Shiro said as the lights dimmed, signaling the night cycle for the castle. “We still have a lot of work ahead of us.”

Keith stuck his tongue out at Shiro, feeling like a child having a sleepover. Shiro only laughed as he left, closing the door behind them. The room was plunged into darkness other than the dim blue light from the cryopod. Snuggled in the blanket nest with Hunk on one side and Pidge on the other, Keith let the hum of the pod lull him to sleep.

He would be here until Lance woke up.

 

Days later, Lance finally woke up, falling out of the cryopod with a plume of mist. Keith moved instantly to catch him, feeling the familiar weight of Lance in his arms and relaxing for the first time since the attack on the castle.

“Keith?” Lance mumbled into Keith's chest.

“Yeah, Lance, it's me,” Keith moved his hands up to cradle Lance's face. It was blemish free and as smooth as ever. No sign of the bruises from the attack.

“Am I dead?” Lance asked with a smirk. “Because you're an angel.”

“Dammit, Lance,” Keith laughed and pulled him up for a kiss.

Keith knew in that moment, as he softly kissed Lance and held him close, happy that he was _alive_ , that Keith would do anything to keep Lance safe.

 


	2. Love Breaks

The Balmera was close enough that there was no need for a wormhole. Just a straight shot to the planet to free Hunk's new girlfriend and then they could move on to fighting Zarkon again. The trip was slow going, Allura and Coran both didn't want to push the castle-ship too hard on her first journey in over ten thousand years. She flew through the stars, steady and strong, and Allura dismissed them from the bridge.

Lance tugged on Keith's hand and the two of them turned to leave the bridge.

“If I could have a word with you two,” Allura called out. “Alone please.”

“Busted,” Pidge hissed as she walked past them.

The doors slid closed and Keith reluctantly turned around to face Allura. She looked especially fierce, her hair pinned back in a severe knot. Despite being shorter than both Lance and Keith by inches, her presence loomed over them. Her eyes glanced down to where Keith and Lance were holding hands and Keith tightened his grip.

“If this is about Voltron – ” Keith started.

“No, Keith, this is about your relationship,” Allura said.

“Don't tell me,” Lance waved their clasped hands in the air. “Paladins weren't allowed to be in relationships? That emotions gets in the way of forming Voltron?”

“What?” Allura shook her head. “No!”

“Because I'm not going to stop loving Keith just because – wait, no?”

“No, Lance, emotions don't get in the way of Voltron,” Allura said. “I merely wanted to offer some advice and a warning. Paladins of the past have fallen in love with each other, it is the nature of allowing others completely into your mind. In a way, the circle of trust you paladins have created have all come out of love; familial love, platonic love, or romantic love. You have all bonded much faster than I had ever anticipated and I believe it is because of the love you all carry. But you must remember to not let these emotions cloud Voltron's judgment. As you've already experienced, forming Voltron creates a bond between all five paladins. The others will feel what you feel and, in some regards, share your thoughts. I'm told it isn't a pleasant experience when romantically involved paladins couldn't keep their thoughts to themselves.”

Keith laughed and leaned against Lance's shoulder, remembering their first experience with mental bonding. Pidge never looked at them the same after that.

“You said you had a warning?” Lance said.

Allura sighed. “Yes, Lance. While love makes us stronger as a team it is also an incredible weakness. The enemy isn't afraid to exploit your feelings for each other to compromise the team. The Galra have already proved that our love for the Arusians could be used as a diversion. Think of what could have happened if Sendak knew of your true relationship.”

Anger shot down Keith's body at the thought. His mind ran through a hundred different scenarios of what could have happened. Lance could have been tortured, mutilated, killed. If Sendak had asked, Keith would have given up everything to save Lance from any of those fates, including the castle and Voltron. His hands tightened in Lance's grip. He wouldn't let anyone get that close to Lance ever again, no matter the cost.

“I won't let that happen,” Keith snarled. “I would fight a thousand Galra ships to keep Lance safe. I would face Emperor Zarkon himself so long as Lance lived.”

“Aww, Keith,” Lance cooed. “That was the sweetest thing you've ever said to me!”

“And it's true. No one is going to get you, Lance. Not while I'm here.”

Lance softened, his shoulders lowering as he rested his head against Keith's. His thumb rubbed the back of Keith's hand, small soothing circles against his skin. He could feel the anger siphon out of him with the action and smiled at Lance.

“I know, babe.”

Allura cleared her throat loudly and the tender expression on Lance's face dropped instantly and he whipped his head dramatically towards her.

“We are having a _moment_ , Allura,” Lance declared.

“Could you consider taking your moment outside my bridge?” Allura asked sternly, though she was smiling. “We have serious work to do in here and I won't allow you to be a distraction.”

“I thought you said our love was what made us stronger,” Lance taunted but he let Keith lead him out of the room and down to the training deck.

Their hands swung between them as they discussed their training for the day. Lance wondered if the bayards worked for the other paladins and if they did, which weapon would it turn into? Having the strongest bond, they had decided to experiment.

The training deck was empty when they came in. Keith walked to the console on the wall and tapped a few buttons. A line of circular targets flashed up around the training deck and Lance had his bayard already, hefted up against his shoulder. As soon as the targets flashed red, Lance fired. Each bolt was dead on and the target turned white when hit. Lance spun around gracefully with his bayard, each shot precise and Keith grinned with pride.

The last target flashed white and Lance turned to Keith with a wink. Keith pulled up the numbers. Twelve targets in a minute and a half.

“New record,” Keith reported with a grin.

“Awesome!” Lance punched the air with his fist. “Okay, babe, it's your turn.”

Keith reset the simulator and walked up to Lance. This was the moment of truth and Lance held out his gun. Keith grabbed it. It was cool and surprisingly light in his hands for a rifle, even a space rifle. Lance and Keith locked eyes and Lance let go.

The bayard shifted into Keith's grasp and started to pulse a bright blue light. It felt strange in his hands, like the bayard knew that it wasn't in the hands of its owner. It was a similar feeling to when Keith and Lance had switched lions for an afternoon flight.

Keith closed his eyes and put his trust into the weapon.

The pulsing stopped and Lance's bayard settled firmly in Keith's grip.

“Oh my god it's working,” Lance said.

“Shut up before you ruin it!”

“Right, right. Shoot the targets!”

Having a gun in his hand was so different from a sword, different enough that Keith had to consciously put effort in trusting that this gun would work He had to remember that it would keep him safe and protected, just like it did for Lance. He lifted up the gun and fired.

The kick was nonexistent and the laser blasts were quick and precise. It wasn't anything like stabbing the targets or slicing them in half, didn't have the same trill of adrenaline, but there was a incredible sense of satisfaction as Keith watched the targets flash white one by one. Keith whooped as the last target flashed and spun around to face Lance.

Lance, who was standing off to the side, jaw dropped to the ground and his hand loosely hanging beside the console.

“Did you even check the time?” Keith asked. No response from Lance other than his eyes glazing over. “Lance? Hon, are you even listening to me?”

It took Lance two steps to scoop up Keith into his arms and kiss him senseless. Keith let out a noise of surprise and twisted his hands up around Lance's neck. Lance had his arms wrapped tight around Keith, holding them as close as humanly possible as their lips moved against each other. Keith laughed and pulled on Lance's hair, separating their mouths. Lance only giggled and nuzzled up against Keith's neck, peppering soft kisses to the skin there.

“Wh – what's all this about?” Keith laughed as he ran his fingers through Lance's hair. He tipped his head back, allowing Lance to nip on more of his neck.

“Seeing you use my gun was so hot,” Lance said and his breath was hot and damp on Keith's sensitive skin. “Like when I see you in my sweater in the morning or when you do a special move against the gladiator.”

Keith pulled Lance off of him with a regretful sigh. He put their foreheads together, noses brushed up against each other. “I think you're crazy, Lance. Besides, it's your turn to try.”

With a final kiss, Lance picked up his bayard from where Keith had accidentally dropped it on the ground. Keith summoned his own bayard, sword flashing into existence. This was familiar to him, comforting and heavy in his hand. Lance grabbed the bayard out of Keith's hand and it immediately fizzled out.

“Hey, why isn't it working?” Lance shook the bayard.

“You have to trust it,” Keith grabbed Lance's hand and the sword re-materialized. “Remember when you tried to fly Red for a day while I flew Blue? She had to trust you first and you had to trust her or else it wouldn't work.”

“Yeah, but the lions are alive, these are just weapons.”

“You still need to trust it. Trust that this sword will keep you safe like your rifled. Remember that it's kept me safe.”

Lance closed his eyes and nodded. Slowly, Keith backed away and let go of his bayard. The sword flashed twice before going still in Lance's hand. Pride surged up in Keith's chest and he bounced up to Lance, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“You did it, Lance.”

With a cheer, Lance swung the blade around. It caught several targets and cut through them like paper. Lance gave a war cry and swung the sword around again. His technique was sloppy and movements far too wide, but Keith had to admit, Lance looked really good with Keith's weapon in his hand.

“I'd say that's a successful test,” Lance grinned, wiping sweat from his forehead. He handed Keith his bayard. “In a tight spot we _can_ use each others bayards. I mean, I'm not about to learn how to used your sword and I'm definitely not giving up my gun, but still. Useful.”

“I don't know if it'll work with everyone,” Keith said as they shut down the training deck. Lance swooped up and took Keith's hand in his as they walked down the hallway. “We have a different relationship after all.”

“I hope we do. You better not be macking on Hunk when I'm not looking.”

“No, I save that special just for you.”

“Oh, thank god.”

“But he's a good back up.”

“Rude.”

Keith laughed and followed Lance to his bedroom.

* * *

Lance leaned up next to Nyma, ignoring Pidge who was running around chasing after the little robot (Beezer, right?) and the daggers Hunk was glaring at Rolo. She was sitting on one of the crates, swinging her legs back and forth and telling Lance all about the different planets she's been on. She and Rolo had been on the run from Zarkon and had never even heard of Voltron. That's what ten thousand years of obscurity will do to legends.

Still, Lance was hopeful. If these two vagabonds were fighting against Zarkon then there must be a whole resistance against him and the Galra empire. It certainly made the idea of fighting Zarkon seem a lot less dangerous. Dangerous things were always less scary with friends.

“Do you really fly a robot lion?” Nyma asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Lance grinned. “All of us do. And then they come together and form Voltron! It's pretty awesome.”

“Wow, I'd love to see it,” she gushed. She glanced over at Hunk, who had started up another argument with Rolo. “But I guess you can't. The yellow guys is your leader, isn't he? You have to follow him?”

“What? No!” Lance stood up straight in protest. “I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Hunk, but he's definitely not the leader. That's Shiro.”

Nyma followed Lance's pointed finger to look at Shiro. He looked quite dashing in his paladin armor, standing next to Allura. Hunk was stalking behind them, arms folded over his chest as he looked over the list of supplies. Lance's eyes slid over to Keith. He was leaning up against the broken ship, chatting with Rolo with a soft smile on his face.

Lance's stomach dropped. He felt a growl building in his chest. His hands started to sweat. Rolo put a hand on Keith's shoulder and gestured to the open panel on the side of the ship. Still grinning, Keith stepped closer to Rolo and they both bent over to look in the panel, shoulders brushing.

“Shouldn't he be waiting for Hunk?” Lance bit out. “Keith knows nothing about engineering.”

“Rolo's probably just teaching him,” Nyma shrugged. “He's a good teacher.”

“I don't like it,” Lance crossed his arms. “I don't trust it.”

“Keith isn't going to break it, not with Rolo watching.”

“I'm not worried about Keith. I just think they should wait for Hunk.”

Nyma jumped off the crate and rested her hand on Lance's shoulder, squeezing it tightly. “Maybe we can go do something? Keep it off your mind?”

Lance didn't miss the way Nyma's voice dropped suggestively. Her face was inches from his, close enough for Lance to feel her breath on his face. Keith laughed at something Rolo said and bumped their shoulders together. Rolo bumped back. Lance's body went cold.

“You know what? That sounds fantastic,” Lance said quickly. He turned away from Keith and plastered on a smile for Nyma. “Wanna see the blue lion?”

It wasn't difficult to sneak Nyma back onto the castle and it was even less difficult to bring her into Blue. With everyone distracted by Rolo's stories or, in Pidge's case, chasing Beezer around, no one payed attention to Lance dragging Nyma behind him. Lance landed in the seat, Nyma on his lap and her hands around his neck. The console lit up blue and Lance felt a trickle of guilt in his stomach as Blue's mind touched his.

_Where is your mate?_

Lance ignored her. Blue's mind was cold against his and he could feel the disapproval radiating like a cold front through him. _Not now_ , he pushed Blue back. She growled in his head but pulled back. Nyma gasped in wonderment and Lance grinned.

“It's incredible!” she said and her arms tightened around his neck. She peered at Lance from underneath her eyelashes. “Fly me around the moon?”

“You got it,” Lance chuckled and pulled back on the throttle.

Blue jumped out of the bay and rocketed into the sky. There was always a sense of exhilaration that came with flying Blue but she kept herself closed off this time. Lance could tell she didn't approve of Nyma in her cockpit but she didn't see how quickly Keith got close to Rolo; she didn't see how easily Lance walked away from everyone else.

Lance took a furious barrel-roll in the sky and Nyma whooped.

 _This female is not worthy of you_.

 _Thanks,_ Lance rolled his eyes. _But you don't get it._

Blue hummed thoughtfully in his mind but remained silent. Lance guided her into a somersault and they landed on the moon's surface beside a glowing rainbow lake. They were far enough away that Lance couldn't see even a glimpse of the castle, just the indigo ground and mauve trees. Wherever he landed it was far away from, well, everyone.

“Oh, that was wonderful!” Nyma exclaimed. She jumped out of Lance's lap and her hands lingered over his shoulders as she danced around the chair. “C'mon, let me show you something!”

Lance let her drag him out of the lion, her hands wrapped around his own as if they had been friends for years. Lance felt sick but followed Nyma onto the ground. She dragged him to the edge of the lake, explaining why it glowed in the starlight. The shield grew around Blue as Lance stepped further away from her and closer to the lake – the black surface a perfect mirror for the flashing rainbow glow and the stars in the sky. Nyma's hand trailed up to his elbow and she rested her head on his shoulder.

Lance's stomach was churning and he could feel each point of contact between him and Nyma. Her skin was hot and dry, like the underside of a lizard, and her hand encompassed his entire bicep. It was nothing like Keith's hands, rough with callouses from his sword but still delicate.

He thought of Keith, back at their camp, shoulder to shoulder with Rolo and a soft smile on his lips. Not even a backwards glance towards Lance. His hands clenched into fists.

“You need to relax,” Nyma said, taking Lance's hand in hers. “This is supposed to be relaxing.”

“I know, I'm sorry,” Lance took in a deep breath and forced himself to loosen his hands.

“Good.”

Before Lance couldn't blink, Nyma had a cuff on both his wrists, the thin gold cord connecting them wrapping around the tree. She took a step back and eyed Lance up and down.

“Nyma?”

“Sorry, Lance,” Nyma shrugged as a ship started to descend. A ladder was thrown out by Rolo and she stepped onto it. “It's just business.”

With growing horror, Lance watched as Rolo and Nyma opened a hatch and scooped up Blue into their ship before taking off.

Dammit! Lance was such an idiot. He groaned and smacked his head against the hard ground. Just a stupid idiot too insecure to stay with his boyfriend and instead had to make a mess of things and lose his lion to some space bandits without even his helmet to radio for help.

Such a fucking idiot, Lance groaned and slammed his head to the ground.

“Good job, Lance,” he muttered to himself. “Get jealous, fly off with a crazy alien lady, lose your lion and get stranded. Good job, Lance. A+ right there.”

Lance slumped against the tree, his entire body going lax. Well, if he was going to die out here, he might as well do it comfortably. He sighed and looked down at his feet. Helmet! Just inches from his feet, if he could just stretch a little bit. Lance scooted down until his arms were at their limit and his toes barely touched his helmet.

“Oh god, please don't roll away,” Lance whispered as he moved his foot to hook underneath the helmet. “Oh, yes, yes! C'mon baby.” Lance lifted his leg up, the helmet perched carefully on his toe. Thank Christ he learned ballet from Angelica. The helmet landed by his face and Lance wasted no time in hailing the others.

“Shiro! Keith!”

He could faintly hear the sound of the other paladins exclaiming to each other over his helmet, it was muted compared to having it on his head but at least they could hear him.

“They took Blue!” he cried out. “You need to get her back!”

“What?!” Shiro's voice filtered through the helmet, loud enough that Lance could hear it fairly clearly. He had to be shouting and Lance was glad that he wasn't anywhere near Shiro.

“Rolo and Nyma took Blue! I bet Zarkon has some kind of bounty on us and I guess they're after the money and they took her You gotta get her back!”

“Okay, team, let's find Rolo and get Lance's lion back. One of you needs to go get him.”

“Dibs!” Hunk shouted.

“You mean you don't want to catch Rolo?” Keith asked and Lance's stomach swooped at his voice. “The guy you've been hating for the entire night? Don't you want to go get some revenge on him?”

“You all know I'm not the fastest pilot,” Hunk said. “I would be the worst in a chase like this! Besides I'll get plenty of revenge after you guys catch them.”

“Don't worry, Lance,” Keith said. “I'll get Blue back for you.”

“Thanks, babe,” Lance sighed.

In the matter of minutes, Hunk was landing Yellow gently on the ground beside where Lance was handcuffed to the tree. Hunk jumped out and he was such a sight for Lance's sore eyes. His best friend walking towards him, bailing him out of trouble again.

“Doesn't this remind you of the day my truck broke down in the school parking lot?” Lance grinned. “Or the day you bailed me out of detention? Where would I be without you, Hunk?”

Hunk didn't laugh. In fact, Hunk looked positively livid. His normal peaceful face was glaring straight at Lance. Lance swallowed nervously. He had _never_ seen Hunk this pissed.

“Dude, what the hell?” Hunk asked as he reached over the unlock the cuffs. “One minute we're all there and then the next, you're flying off with Nyma and Keith's freaking out, like bad Lance. As soon as Blue jumped out of the castle, he ran up to Shiro and Allura and basically demanded to chase after you. Lance, I've never seen Keith look so petrified in his life, I thought he was going to die.”

Lance sat up and rubbed at his wrists. Hunk sat down next to Lance. Without Nyma or Blue distracting him, Lance could focus on the scenery around him. The sky was various shades of blue, violet and pink, the colors blending together over the sky. The horizon was mountainous, sharp jagged blue rocks jutting into the vibrant sky.

“So are you going to tell me what's up?” Hunk asked. “It's not like you to just abandon us without telling anyone.”

“He was having such a good time with Rolo and, I dunno man, I got jealous.”

“So you ran off with Nyma?”

“I just... needed some time to think. You know how I get, Hunk.”

Hunk made a noise of sympathy and threw an arm over Lance's shoulder. Lance let his head fall against Hunk's chest. Hunk was always the greatest when it came to bad day cuddles. Lance had them a lot after Keith left and Hunk was the best shoulder to cry on.

“It's been a while since you've had one,” Hunk mentioned. “Do you know what triggered it?”

“Seeing Keith with Rolo,” Lance said.

“So why did that trigger you?”

Lance sighed and wrapped his arms around Hunk. “Made me feel insecure. I felt like I didn't... I didn't matter. I just wondered if this was the day that Keith was finally going to move on from me, onto something better you know? Because he does, Hunk. Keith deserves so much more than me.”

“We've been through his before,” Hunk sighed. “You worthwhile, Lance. You've always been worthwhile. Let me tell you, Keith is so in love with you I honestly can't stand it.”

“I know, Hunk, I know, but it doesn't stop the feelings, you know?”

“You do remember what your therapist taught you about these thoughts, don't you?”

“Yeah, it's just... hard days. I'll be better soon, you know that.”

“Let's go back, Lance,” Hunk hauled Lance up to his feet and dusted him off. “You need to tell Keith about this. He deserves to know. And who knows, maybe he can help you too.”

“Yeah, I'll tell him.”

 

Lance most certainly did _not_ tell Keith. He didn't want anything between them to change. All he had ever wanted was his best friend back. Keith didn't need to know about the crushing panic attacks or the depression/anxiety combo that was compounded with debilitating insecurities. Keith deserved better than that – he deserved the Lance who was actually whole and healthy.

And if Lance had to lie, then so be it. Hunk had made a warm cup of some alien drink that tasted like stale chocolate and salt but it was warm and soothing and Lance held it close to his chest, breathing in the hot smell of salty chocolate.

Lance could feel the moment Blue entered her hanger, even from his position on the floor of the bridge, watching the stars slowly slip by as they traveled to the Balmera. His head exploded like a snow-globe and Lance was overwhelmed with the feeling of Blue's worry and concern.

_Next time, you listen to me._

Lance laughed a little bit to himself and wrapped his blanket around him. _Yeah, Blue, you got it, sweetheart_.

Blue purred in his mind and Lance could feel her relief wash over his mind like a wave. It was comforting to feel his lion's presence back in the back of his mind. Lance didn't realize how much he missed her until she was suddenly back.

He took a sip of the alien hot cocoa and set the mug down on the ground. He curled up his legs underneath his chin and stared out the massive windows to the void of space. Lance was never fond of space. Sure, the stars were pretty and he liked looking at the moon, but it was just so _vast_.

Hunk was fond of reminding Lance that space was mostly empty. Planets and stars and asteroids existed hundreds of thousands of miles apart. The next closest star to Earth was over 4 light-years away. The Castle of Lions used wormholes to travel over the universe because it would take too long to just fly naturally.

It was just so _big_ to Lance. Too big and too unknown for Lance to have any desire to explore that final frontier.

The ocean, however, the ocean was comforting. Lance grew up on the ocean. He spent his early years with sand between his toes and ocean water staining his hair. Even after moving into the landlocked farming town, Lance and his family spent many summers in Cuba on the beach. Lance remembered making sand castles with Gabi and learning to surf with Spencer. Angelica would take Aunt Maria down the boardwalk and come back with pictures of her awkwardly flirting.

Lance missed the ocean, the sound of the water crashing on the shore and the feeling of the waves lapping at his feet, the push and pull of the ocean as he swam through the water. There was a comforting weight to the water that contrasted with that feeling of weightlessness as Lance would surrender himself to the waves.

Lance knew, of course, that there was a tremendous fear of the ocean. The final frontier of Earth, the thousands of miles of ocean so heavy humans still haven't been able to walk the ocean floor, filled with creatures that were sharp, bug eyed, and deadly. And wasn't that the irony of Keith and Lance? The depth of space and the depth of the ocean, equally dangerous and equally unexplored.

Maybe they would find a planet with an ocean. That would be nice. Lance hummed to himself and remembered the one and only time Keith came to the beach with Lance's family. Keith got a sunburn bad enough to put a tomato to shame and cried about it the entire drive back home.

It seemed like so long ago, so far away, almost another lifetime ago.

The door to the bridge slid open and Lance turned around. He wasn't surprised to see Keith walking in, sweaty from battle and eyes wider than normal. His eyes scattered over the bridge before landing on Lance. Keith's shoulders wilted and he all but ran to Lance, sliding down across the floor and crashing into him.

“For the love of God, Lance, never do that to me again,” Keith breathed into Lance's neck, his arms in a vice like grip around Lance's shoulders. He pulled back and pressed their foreheads together, his eyes were shining bright with tears. “What happened?”

“I don't want to talk about it,” Lance muttered and curled himself even tighter. He turned his face away from Keith and rested his chin against his knees.

Keith sighed and his breath fanned over Lance's cheek. “Don't scare me like that.”

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to,” Lance said. “I just... after Sendak and everything I'm just... I don't know, feeling a bit off, you know? I miss home, Keith. I miss the rain, I miss the ocean. I don't like space, I never have. It feels too empty out here.”

“Then why come to space at all? Why join the Garrison?”

Lance leaned into Keith. “You know why. I followed you.”

Keith grinned and kissed Lance. Lance opened up his blanket and threw it around Keith's shoulder, pulling them tight together and huddled underneath the stars. Their hands wound together beneath the blanket and Lance tucked himself closer to Keith.

“Tell me about the stars,” Lance whispered.

“I thought you hated space?”

(Lance and Keith were too different. Lance the broken ocean boy and Keith made of star light and moonbeams. It would be only a matter of time before Keith realized it and moved on.)

“Not when you talk about it,” Lance said. “I realized I loved you when I heard you talk about the stars, about planets beyond our solar system. Besides, I like _looking_ at space fine. It's the whole flying around it that bothers me.”

Keith chuckled and pointed out the window to a chain of stars that looped over each other. “That's the head of the first Arusian, the first king to populate these lands. He was a strong and powerful leader and when his time came the stars came down to bring him up.” Keith moved his hand to the next group of stars. “And this one is the Lion Goddess.”

Lance let Keith's voice wash over him, deep and soothing. Keith pointed out the different Arusian constellations, the legends connected with them. The torn lovers, separated by a giant sword. The Arusian queen, known for her beauty that started wars.

“Do you think it's weird?” Lance interrupted Keith. “We're across the universe from Earth with different stars and constellations, but the legends are the same. Like do all sentient beings look at the stars? Is that what makes us, well, human, in a way?”

Keith hummed and shifted even closer to Lance. “That's deep, even for you.”

Lance shrugged. “It's just... I don't know. It's suddenly a lot. Arusians, that crazy robeast we fought, the Galra taking over the ship. Then running into Rolo and Nyma and it just hit me, I guess, how big this is. It's a lot to take in for me. So much has changed and I want to go home.”

Keith turned so they were sitting face to face, legs crossed and knees touching. The blanket slid off Keith's shoulders and puddled between them. In the faint, pink sky light, Keith's eyes glowed vibrantly purple-blue, narrowed fiercely at Lance.

“No matter what happens, Lance, I'll be here for you, okay?” Keith said. “We've been friends forever, babe, and we'll be friends for even longer. As long as I live, Lance, nothing is going to happen to you.”

Lance forced himself to smile. Keith meant that now but someday, maybe not today, but someday, he was going to leave. But for now, Lance curled into Keith underneath the stars and let himself hope for the future where Keith would never leave.

* * *

After the rejuvenation ceremony, the Balmera was a completely different world. The ground was covered with shining, sparkling crystals that reflected the sunlight and refracted it into a rainbow of colors.

Coran led Allura into the castle for some much needed rest. Until she was strong enough to fly the ship, they would be resting on the Balmera. Coran assured them it would be no more than a day or two before they were back into the depths of space.

Shiro had gone with Allura and Pidge was exploring the planet and trying to hack into Galra structures. Hunk had wasted no time in walking with Shay across the surface of the planet and, as much as Lance wanted to follow, he had other things on his mind. Primarily, Voltron.

Lance sat down next to where Blue was parked on the ground. He rested against her paw and he felt her mind gently probe his own. Cautious, curious, she enveloped him mentally, offering him comfort before Lance could even process what was wrong.

_It's about Voltron, isn't it?_

Lance sighed. “I was thinking, Blue, about Voltron, why don't we give him a weapon? I mean, Hunk's got that cannon and Keith has a sword. Even Pidge has that shield. What about me and you? Are we just a leg?”

 _I understand, my paladin. You have not yet understood your place in Voltron –_ our _place in Voltron. Every lion is important to Voltron and every paladin has something to contribute. I would not have chosen you if I deemed you unworthy._

“I know, I know,” Lance curled up against Blue. “I just... feel useless sometimes, you know? I just wanted to find Keith and, well, here I am, wrapped up in something way bigger than I ever signed up for. Everyone else is taking it great too. I mean, Pidge and Hunk spend all day geeking out about space tech and Hunk's got Shay now too. And Keith, you know, he was meant to be a space pilot, wanted it since he was a kid but me? I just... I don't belong, Blue.”

For the first time, Blue's presence in Lance's head wasn't cold or even cool. It wasn't the smooth ocean wave he had grown accustom to feeling. This time, Blue engulfed his mind with a fiery heat that reminded Lance of the brief time he spent connected with Red. Blue's mind crashed over his like boiling water.

_You are my paladin, Lance McClain. I chose you for a reason. You will not let us down and you will not let down Voltron._

A shadow fell over Lance and he looked up. Coran didn't say a word, just sat down next to Lance on the dusty Balmera ground. He had dark circles underneath his eyes but offered up a tired smile to Lance.

“Allura is sleeping right now,” he said. “Shiro and the mice are watching over her now. She'll be fine, Lance. Unless something else bothering you? Are you missing Earth again?”

“No, it's... it's nothing, Coran,” Lance lied.

“Don't lie to me, young paladin,” Coran said. “I know the face of someone in distress. What's got you all gloomy?”

“It's not important right now,” Lance shrugged.

“It may not be important now, Lance, but secrets weaken Voltron,” Coran continued. “Remember the mental training exercise? You were unable to form Voltron mentally the first time we attempted that because of your secret love for Keith!”

“Yeah, thanks for reminding me.”

“What I mean is you must trust your fellow paladins. Trust them more than you trust yourself. Trust them like you trust your lion.”

“I just... I don't think I'm ready yet.”

“That's alright, Lance, you take your time. I know it may not seem like much, but Allura and I see you and the rest of the paladins as family. Whatever you need, Lance, we're here for you.”

Coran patted Lance on the shoulder. He stood up and dusted himself off. “Well, I got to make sure that Hunk doesn't accidentally propose to Shay on their walk, I don't think Rax would take that news very well and we don't really have time for a wedding.”

“Whoa, who's getting married?” Keith asked. He walked up to Lance with a confident smile, but his eyes were wider than normal. He sat down next to Lance and stared deeply into Lance's eyes. “Are you... proposing to me?”

“Oh, god, not now!” Lance shook his head. “I mean, eventually? Maybe? But wow, not now.”

Keith visibly deflated. “Oh good because, I love you, Lance, but I'm so not ready for that.”

“Me neither,” Lance laughed hollowly.

Keith rested a hand on Lance's leg, the friendship bracelet a slash of red across Keith's wrist. Lance placed his hand on top of Keith's, threading their fingers together.

* * *

So this was it. This was how Lance McClain, Blue Paladin of Voltron, died. Trapped in an airlock from a haunted castle-ship with no one to save him. Well, it had been a good life, at least Lance could admit that. How many other young adults could claim to travel beyond the known galaxies and into the far reaches of the universe? Not many.

He wished he could have gone home at least once more. Back to his little hometown with _Sammy's_ milkshakes and Father Jones's sermons. Once last drive with Hunk to Sandy and back. They never did beat Spencer's record.

Spencer was probably married by now. He had asked Lance on proposal ideas, showing him a glittering ring, before he ended up in Blue and flying to Arus. Lance was supposed to be the best man for the wedding, he had a speech ready and everything.

Was Angelica still dating Drew? The whole town knew that Drew was taking over the family restaurant and Angelica had loved working there. Lance could admit he'd never seen his big sister as happy as when she was working with Drew. He might never see them again. Never have another one of those famous milkshakes, never finish the Big Burger Challenge.

Lance was no stranger to homesickness. He felt the sharp sting of misery as Coran showed him how far away Earth was from Arus. He stayed up late longing for his mom's hugs, his dad's cooking. He wanted to see his little cousins, go swimming with his Uncle Javier in the river, nag Aunt Maria about not finding a wife yet, visit Cuba and Varadero Beach again.

But this wasn't just homesickness, this wasn't Lance wishing he was home, missing his family like a phantom limb. This was Lance missing all those future moments. He was missing Spencer's wedding, Gabi's first crush (her first date!), Angelica's children. He wasn't going to see his cousins grow old or watch Maria fumble with every cute woman across her path.

The airlock timer started counting down and Lance shouted for help again, knowing that there was no one else who could hear him, but he'd be damned if he didn't try.

Lance froze when he realized that no one was going to know what happened to him. The rest of the paladins would never know what happened to Lance.

Keith would never know what happened.

Lance's breath caught in his chest and he banged his fists on the glass door, collapsing to the ground, blue bracelet catching his eye. He was never going to see Keith again. Never see that cocky smile or his violet-gray eyes. He would never be able to run his hands through Keith's hair, never again hear that soft whimper when he pulled it.

There wouldn't be any more soft kisses or tight embraces. No more nights curled up together, breathing in sync with each other. No more discovering each noise that Keith made when Lance dragged his lips up and down Keith's body. No chance to go further than steamy cuddling and heavy make outs.

Lance was hit suddenly with the vision of Keith standing in front of him, wearing all white with a red flower tucked in his lapel. Lance could see it so clearly, the two of them standing at an alter with Father Jones behind it. The entire town filling up the pews and such love in Keith's eyes that Lance had to open his own to make sure he was still locked in an airlock.

Looking down at the blue friendship bracelet, Lance felt his heart fill with an ache so strong he couldn't quite breathe. He had loved and treasured that bracelet since he was ten, though now it was faded and worn, Lance refused to take it off.

But what if he had something else to replace it?

He had meant it, on the Balmera, that he wanted to marry Keith someday. To get down on one knee, ring in hand, and propose to Keith – to be bound together stronger than friendship. He wanted to wake up next to Keith every morning and fall asleep together. He wanted to adopt a family of children and raise them. If he ever made it out of here –

“ _Twelve. Eleven._ ”

It didn't matter, Lance was about to die. He was about to die knowing he would never see that vision become reality. He wasn't going to go back home and marry Keith in that little church that had been their favorite place as kids. He wasn't going to see his nieces and nephews, wasn't going to see his Aunt Maria married off, wasn't going to watch as Gabi grew into a beautiful woman.

He was never going to wake up to Keith's smile, never hear his little snort when he laughed too hard. If he had known that last night was the last time he was going to kiss Keith, he would have done it, would have taken Keith apart, piece by piece, and fulfill every fantasy he's ever had.

Over the sound of the airlock counting down to his death, Lance heard the sounds of fighting, the clash of metal on metal. Looking up, he saw Keith round the corner, chased by the gladiator from the training deck.

“KEITH!”

He spun around and stared at Lance, stuck in an airlock and uselessly banging on the door. Keith didn't hesitate to run over and push the button to open the door, right as the time hit zero. The air immediately depressurized as the airlock opened and Lance grabbed onto the wall. The gladiator was sucked into the void and Lance pulled himself out, reaching out to Keith who yanked him the last few feet and slammed the button.

The airlock slid shut and Lance felt sweet gravity take him and he fell onto the castle ground, collapsing next to Keith. He looked sweaty, his eyes in a panic, and Lance could see Keith's chest heaving with each breath. His hair was disheveled and he opened his mouth to say something.

But Lance had sealed his lips over those words and swallowed the sounds that Keith made. He tugged at Keith's tight black shirt and felt Keith's heart pounding underneath his hand, strong and heavy and _alive_. Keith had his hands in Lance's hair, tugging Lance to a better angle. Lance threw his leg over Keith's, straddling him in the hallway and rolling his entire body until they were pressed tight against each other.

“I almost died,” Lance breathed into Keith's mouth. “I almost died and you were my final thought.”

“Me too, Lance, me too,” Keith whispered back, arching himself into Lance's touch. Lance mouthed his way down Keith's neck, biting and sucking and memorizing the gasps that Keith let out.

“Promise me we go together,” Lance breathed across Keith's collarbones. “I don't want to do this without you. I can't, baby, I can't.”

Keith grabbed Lance's face and pulled him up so they were eye to eye, noses brushing together. They were breathing heavily and Lance's heart was pounding in his chest.

“Neither of us are going anywhere,” Keith said firmly. “You and I are going to make it, Lance. We're going to beat Zarkon and free the universe. We're going to grow old, you hear me? We're not dying.”

Lance could only swoop in and kiss Keith again and again and again until they were lying on the ground, entwined around each other.

* * *

Lance tore off his helmet and flung it across the bridge of the castle. It hit the wall with a massive _bang_ and rolled across the floor into Keith's foot. Keith kicked it across the bridge and took off his own helmet. Lance hated that he was briefly distracted by Keith's hair, sweaty and sticking to his neck.

“I can't _believe_ you did that!” Lance shouted, pointing at Keith accusingly. “Not only did you _ignore_ me but you put the entire mission at risk! And now Allura's captured by Zarkon!”

“That's not my fault!” Keith shouted back. “Besides, we knew that station was important and those containers were the only special thing about it. I had no choice! And now we know how the Galra are getting their fuel. That's pretty valuable information if you ask me.”

“You could have stayed! You didn't have to go!”

“We're fighting an army that's been building across the known universe for ten _thousand_ years, Lance. We need every advantage possible!”

“Not at the risk of your life!”

They were standing toe to toe now, shouting in each others faces. Lance was livid, filled with fury and Keith just wasn't getting it. Lance grabbed Keith's cheeks, forcing their faces even closer together and not letting Keith get away. He had to get this message through to him, had to make Keith understand exactly what Lance was feeling.

“I saw that entire feed, Keith. I watched that creature fling you around that room like a doll! I thought you were going to die!”

Keith's violet eyes hardened. “But I didn't!”

Lance groaned and let go of Keith. He threw his arms in the air and spun around in the room. Did Keith forget the promise they made days ago? Did he not realize just how much he meant to Lance? Did he finally realize that Lance wasn't good enough?

“It's not about that!” Lance snapped.

“Then what is it about? Huh, Lance? Because from where I'm standing, it sounds like you didn't think I could do it!”

“No! That's not it!”

“Then what is it?!”

“It's that you would rather die on a mission that stay low and live!” Lance could feel the angry tears building up in his eyes. His hands were shaking and his skin felt too tight, hot and cold at the same time. “You keep doing this, Keith! Running off without thinking and just leaving me behind. What if you don't come back? Don't I matter to you?”

“Of course you matter!” Keith took a few stumbling steps towards Lance, his hands reaching out to him. Lance folded his arms and Keith's arms dropped to his side. “But we're Paladins of Voltron and sometimes we have to make sacrifices. There's a war out there, Lance. I'm not going to see you die because I didn't take this seriously and I let an opportunity like this pass us by.”

Something cold sank in Lance's gut and his legs went numb. Keith looked stunning, as always, face flushed with anger and his hair still damp with sweat. He was still that beautiful boy he fell for so many years ago, dramatic as usual and just as self-sacrificing.

“So you'd just sacrifice yourself, sacrifice you and me, for this war?”

“I'm doing this _for_ you!” Keith insisted, his hands were clenched in fists at his sides. “Goddammit, Lance, don't you get it? I'll die before I lose you!”

“I never asked you to do that,” Lance's voice broke and the tears started to fall. “I can't watch you walk away towards your death, Keith. I can't.”

“I'm not asking,” Keith folded his arms across his chest. “This is bigger than all of us! I'm taking this seriously. The fate of the universe is in our hands and we have to make sacrifices.”

“And I'm one of those?”

“No!”

“Then stop running away! I've spent my entire life watching you walk away from me. For once, Keith, can't you stay?”

Keith bit his lip and looked down. Lance already knew the answer. Somewhere in his heart Lance had always known the answer.

“I'm a paladin, Lance. And so are you. This is more important than me, more important than us,” Keith looked up and his eyes were wide but his mouth was set in a determined line. “If you can't take this seriously then maybe we shouldn't be together.”

There it was. Lance knew it. It was always going to come to this. Keith was going to find something bigger, something better, and Lance wouldn't be enough. He had never been enough. Lance swallowed and forced the words past his throat.

“Maybe we shouldn't.”

Keith spun around and walked away. Lance stared at Keith's back, his tense shoulders and dark hair. Ever since he was nine years old, Lance had watched as Keith walked away at the end of every night. He stood in the pouring rain and convinced Keith not to run away at thirteen. He followed Keith across the continent, chased that retreating profile his entire life.

And maybe it was time to stop.

Lance's lungs seized up as the door slid shut behind Keith, the sound resounding in the empty bridge. His cheeks were damp and he couldn't breathe. He was doing the impossible and letting the best thing that ever happened to him walk out of his life.

His knees hit the ground and Lance sobbed. He spent his life chasing after Keith, putting all his effort into their friendship, practically forcing it on him. He was just an annoying kid that Keith just tolerated all those years long and Lance should have known that. Just too loud, too much, and it finally got to Keith and he got out.

And Lance was left alone.

 


	3. Love Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What the drama Klance fandom. I just wanna write my fic, live happy, and watch Voltron. Why start a legal battle.
> 
> Anyway, (here's wonderwall), there was a LOT of anger to Keith in the last chapter, which is valid. But remember: Lance is Keith's childhood friend, his first friend and his best friend. Even though the fight was told from Lance's POV, Keith has a side to it too.

The wormhole was crashing around them and everyone was shouting but Lance couldn't hear them. He couldn't even focus on his cockpit console or the warning signs pinging up all around him. Lance could only hear the echo of Keith's pained voice as he charged after Zarkon to save Shiro. He didn't listen to anyone, not to Coran and certainly not to Lance.

Lance was certain Keith was going to get himself killed on that cruiser without a second glance back. Lance had seen Keith do plenty of reckless shit when they were kids, but this was a long way from jumping off the roof of the church with only an umbrella.

The warning signs on his dashboard blared louder and Lance focused back into where he was, in a wormhole escaping Zarkon's command center. The hanger bay doors opened and suddenly Lance was flying out into space, the rest of the paladins with him.

Coran and Allura had been adamant about the dangers of wormhole travel outside the Castle of Lions, about how the rift would either tear them apart or fling them into the far reaches of the universe. Neither sounded like good options to Lance.

He saw the other lions out in the open, flung around the wormhole like toys. His eyes zeroed in on Red, on Keith, and Lance's heart stopped. Red tumbled through the air and Lance could hear Keith screaming as he vanished beyond the wormhole.

Gone. His best friend was gone again, lost to the depths of space and Lance couldn't follow. He tumbled through the wormhole walls and felt the tear of space buffet against Blue. The dashboard was flashing red and blue, everything was beeping as Lance desperately tried to pilot her free.

But Keith was _gone_. There was no telling where he would have ended up in the universe or if they would find each other again. Lance might never see Keith again, might never get a chance to apologize for what he had said, might never try and rekindle their friendship.

When they were kids, he always had Keith next to him on every adventure. From stealing apples to racing down the interstate to skipping class. It was always the two of them, Keith and Lance riding their bicycles side by side. Lance couldn't live without him.

The wormhole closed behind him and Lance went hurtling towards a vast, blue and white ocean. He could sense Hunk right next to him as they crashed and sank to the bottom of the ocean. Hunk screamed the entire time and Lance couldn't help the fondness well up in his chest. At least he wasn't completely alone.

“Hunk, are you okay?” Lance asked as their lions slowly floated down the ocean.

“Yeah, I'm good, but my lion...”

“Me too, bud.”

“What about you?” Hunk asked.

“Um, same as you?” Lance said. “Stuck in an alien ocean, Blue's not responding and we have no idea where everyone else is.”

“I mean about Keith.”

Blue landed on the ocean floor with a soft thump. Sand billowed up around Blue and Yellow, clouding the water. Lance sighed, deep and heavy, and slouched in his chair. It was nice, Lance realized, staring out the windows, to be in the water again. The Garrison had a pool for training and a little hot tub for relaxing but nothing like a deep, wide swimming pool.

It had been a a long time since Lance had been in the water. He remembered being in middle school and spending every spare moment swimming, dreaming of the Olympic Gold one day. The heavy silence was comforting and welcoming.

“I – I dunno, man,” Lance eventually said. “We should try and connect with the others.”

“Yeah, yeah, you're right,” Hunk agreed.

Hunk opened up his communicator and Lance let his mind drift off again. His mind was empty, quiet without Blue, and he let himself think about anything except for Keith. Something flashed outside the window and Lance sat up straight. Blue rumbled to life beneath him, her mind slowly melding against his again.

“Did you see that, girl?” he asked.

Lights flashed from Blue's eyes and lit up the ocean floor. In the deep water, among the settling sand, Lance saw it – a mermaid. She swam out of the light before Lance could get a good look, but it was definitely a mermaid!

“Hunk! I think there are mermaids here!” Lance exclaimed. He vibrated in his seat. This was the best planet _ever_.

“Lance, we need to stay here! We're on an alien planet with no way to contact the Castle and you want to explore?”

“C'mon, Hunk!” Lance wheedled. “What if they can help?”

“I know that this is a dream of yours, Lance, but we need to be careful!”

Lance grinned and jumped out of his seat. Hunk was still rambling about safety but Lance stopped listening. He jumped out of Blue and took his first few strokes in the water. Even covered head to toe in his paladin armor, Lance felt _better_ being in the water. All his problems seemed to fade with each stroke through the water.

“I guess you can stay here, Hunk,” Lance grinned and swam in a lazy circle around Blue. “Alone, in the dark, on an alien planet with no way to call for help.”

“Don't leave me!” Hunk shouted, swimming up next to Lance in a swirl of bubbles.

They followed the shadow of the mermaid across the ocean floor until they came to a massive underwater city. It was glowing green and yellow and if there was a city, there would be people. In this case, merpeople.

Lance gasped. It was like a dream come true. It was years ago when he abandoned the ocean to search for Keith among the stars. He had always imagined what it was like to be a merman, to go through the oceans without fear of air. He could hardly contain himself – mermaids were real! Alien, sure, but real!

Queen Luxia, leader of the little mer-city, greeted them warmly and offered them food and shelter. She and the other mermaids were beautiful, in an alien sort of way, with pitch black eyes and colorful skin. Luxia brought out a shell which gave Hunk and Lance an air bubble, allowing them to take off their helmets. They had also brought their lions, setting them down outside the city walls.

Blue brushed up against Lance's mind, dim and faded. She was repairing herself but still not up to her full capacity yet. Lance sent out a warm feeling towards her, comforting her while she worked on finishing her own repairs. He would be okay.

Florona, the mermaid that Lance chased, led them to the room they'd be staying in. It was a small cave with large clam beds on the ground. Lance curled up on one of the clam beds, waiting to be taken to the welcome feast.

“Hey,” Hunk swam up next to him.

“Hey,” Lance replied.

“You never really answered about Keith.”

Lance shrugged. “Not much to say, I guess. Been trying not to think about it.”

“I know that – ugh – I know that you and Keith broke up,” Hunk said and he sat down next to Lance on the clam bed. “I mean, we all do, I guess. When we formed Voltron to fight against Zarkon, it was different than before. The connection wasn't as strong and, I dunno man, I could _feel_ what you were feeling. It's not good for you to keep your feelings bottled up like this. Talk to me, man.”

“He doesn't care about me, Hunk,” Lance said softly. He shifted so his head was resting against Hunk's leg. “Not like he used to, like when we were kids. He basically said he'd rather die for Voltron than live for me.”

“Oh wow that's...”

“Yeah.”

“What did you say?”

Lance let out a heavy sigh and curled up closer to Hunk. “I said it would be better if we weren't together. If he really feels that way then what's the point? I'm not – I'm not going to hold him back.”

“The point?! The point is that _you love him_ , Lance,” Hunk nudged Lance's head with his thigh. “You threw up three times on the flight to the Garrison, complained about flying every single day, but you learned to be a pilot to find Keith. You left behind your dream for this guy. That's like true love, man.”

“It's not even all that,” Lance mumbled. “I mean, yes, that's part of it, but... he's my best friend, Hunk. I've known him since we were kids. He's as important to me as my family. I don't – I don't know how to be without him.”

Hunk sighed and wrapped his arm around Lance's shoulder. “This is your first fight with each other, isn't it? Fights are messy, dude. You say things you don't mean, hold grudges, ignore each other, it's not fun. You two just need to talk it out. We can't be Voltron, can't be strong enough, if you two don't figure this out.”

“Yeah, I guess you're right,” Lance said. “Thanks, Hunk.”

“Anytime.”

–

It was difficult to build a fire on a planet made of nothing but stone, but between Keith and Shiro, they managed to wrangle a small fire just as the sun started to set. Black and Red were two strong guardians over them as they waited for rescue. Shiro was leaning heavily against the rock wall, breathing heavily with his wound pulsing softly.

“How's the wound?” Keith asked, staring at the purple scratch marks.

“It's great,” Shiro chuckled. “Getting bigger all the time.”

“Shiro, c'mon,” Keith scolded.

“What about you?” Shiro countered. “How are you holding up?”

“I'm great,” Keith poked at the fire. “Just lost on a planet with no sign of rescue. But hey, at least I'm with my big brother.”

Shiro half-heartedly punched Keith's shoulder with a laugh. “Don't get smart with me, Keith. I'm serious though, how are you? I know that you two had a fight, you two weren't exactly quiet.”

Keith pulled out the stick from the fire, the end of it smoldering slightly. Keith moved the stick in the air, leaving behind a trail of smoke. He let Lance's face float to the top of his mind; his blue eyes and cocky smile and the way his face shattered (eyes brimming with tears and mouth opened with shock) as Keith walked away –

“I dunno, Shiro,” Keith eventually said as the smoke dissipated into the air. “I don't... I don't want you to get upset.”

“Keith,” Shiro's voice dropped. “Did Lance hurt you?”

“No!” Keith shook his head. “ _I_ hurt _him_. Shiro, I hurt him so bad. I messed up and said... god, I said _awful_ things and he probably hates me now and I heard him... I heard him cry when I left.” Keith's breath caught in his chest and his eyes started burning. “I – I said that forming Voltron was more important than being with him. That saving the universe was more important and I left him. Shiro, I left him again. Why am I always leaving him?”

Keith was crying now, hot tears falling fast down his cheeks. He blinked and his brother's face came back into focus. Shiro's face, contorted with pain, still managed to look pitying. Keith glanced down at Shiro's wound and guilt swept through his gut. Shiro was hurt and Keith was dragging his break-up onto him.

“You've always chased your dreams, Keith,” Shiro said. “That's what got you into the Garrison so fast. Nothing ever held you back, not even me.”

“Lance did,” Keith whispered honestly. “I... Lance kept me home. When I was thirteen, I almost ran away but Lance brought me back. I'm – I'm doing this for him. I want to keep him safe, Shiro. It's all I want, all I ever want. After Sendek...”

Keith's throat closed up at the memory of Lance, unconscious with Sendak standing over him, then of Lance hovering in the cryopod while Keith waited and waited and _waited_. The universe was dangerous and if there was anything that Keith could do to keep Lance safe he would do it. Fresh tears fell down his cheeks and he wiped them away furiously.

“I'm dangerous, Shiro,” Keith said suddenly and he jammed the stick into the ground. The charcoal end crumbled against the stone. “I can't be with Lance.”

“Why are you dangerous?”

Keith shrugged. “You saw how I fight, what happened with Zarkon. I lost all control. Shiro, it's like I wasn't me. I don't know how to explain it, but something else took over when I saw Zarkon and I had to do something, anything, and nothing else mattered. Not Voltron, not you, not Earth, not even Lance. The only thing that mattered was killing Zarkon.”

“And that makes you dangerous?” Shiro prodded.

“Well, yeah,” Keith said. “You know Lance, he puts his entire soul into the things he loves. Remember when his first chicken died? He cried for weeks. If something happens to me, it would kill him. I can't do that to him – I won't. It's better this way.”

“Oh, Keith,” Shiro sighed.

Keith curled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms tight around his legs. He hadn't had time to think about the fight properly, despite it floating in his mind every single day. But now that the words were out, Keith knew it was true. Lance deserved better; he deserved someone who would stay safe and wait for him, not someone aggressive and hot headed, not someone like Keith.

“You know, I remember the day you two met,” Shiro said, his voice warming with fondness. “Lance came up and declared himself your best friend and you looked so terrified about it, but then it happened, you were best friends and I never saw either of you without the other.”

Keith let himself laugh at the memories of himself and Lance running around their little town, causing chaos wherever they went.

“And then you two grew older and I knew when I left for the Garrison that things were going to be different between you – and I was right.”

“Okay, okay,” Keith scooted closer to Shiro, their shoulders brushing together. “Do you have a point or are you just reminiscing before your untimely death?”

“Rude. I'm not dying – at least I don't think so.”

“You better not.”

“I'm just saying that you need to work things out with Lance. You're hurting yourself and Lance by being apart. Don't do it fast and for god's sake, do it right, but you two are important to each other. I can't imagine a world where you two aren't together, even just as friends.”

The sky opened up and the green lion swooped through the wormhole. Black and Red both lit up and Keith felt his shoulders lighten. He grabbed his helmet and slipped it over his head.

“-ith! Shiro!” Pidge's voice was delighted over the helmet comm system. “Thank god, you guys are okay! Can you fly out?”

Keith glanced over at Shiro. His eyes were fluttering close and his face was dripping sweat. Shiro's arms went loose, his hand dropping from his wound – it was pulsating purple and red.

“Shiro's unconscious,” Keith said, his voice shaking. “I can fly him out and I think that Black should follow. What about everyone else?”

“Hunk and Lance are already at the castle,” Pidge reported. “You two are our last stop. What happened with Shiro?”

Keith explained the wound but his mind latched onto Lance's name. He wondered if Lance was in one piece, if he landed on a safe planet. He hoped that Lance was okay, that he wasn't injured or hurting. Keith lifted up Shiro and carried him into Red's cockpit.

When he was five, Keith remembered falling asleep in the fields and waking up in Shiro's arms. His head was nestled between Shiro's neck and shoulder and the sun was low in the sky, casting long shadows across the ground. The rest of the memory was faded over with time, but Keith remembered being safe and protected.

And now he was carrying his big brother unconscious in his arms. How the times have changed.

Red started up beneath Keith and he followed Green out through the wormhole, Black flying right behind them.

–

The pattern on the knife haunted him. The glowing purple signal on Ulaz's blade. He hadn't gotten a close look at it while they chased him through the hallways, but it looked so familiar that he couldn't stop thinking about it, even when they were fighting the robeast, even when Ulaz sacrificed himself. It was seared into his mind, the glowing purple sign that seemed so familiar.

Ulaz belonged to the Blade of Marmora, the secret group of Galra rebels against Zarkon's reign. He knew that the signal was tied in with them somehow. Like a graffiti tag or mascot, but they weren't plastering it across the universe, just carrying it on their weapons.

So why did Lance recognize it?

He rolled out of his bed and wrapped himself up in his robe and slipped into his slippers. There was only one person that Lance could go to with these sort of questions. It was late and the castle was dark which meant no one for Lance to run into in the hallways. His heart thudded as he walked past Keith's room, his walk slowing by the familiar door.

He almost stopped there, knocked on Keith's door to ask if he felt the strange familiarity to Ulaz's sword too. He used to do that all the time after a big battle, curl up next to Keith and remind himself that they were both still alive.

But their last battle didn't go so well. They formed Voltron, but just barely. Lance couldn't focus on the battle with Keith's mind so close in contact with his own. It would have been so easy for Lance to pry into Keith's mind, to see what went wrong between them, but Keith had his mental walls up and so did Lance.

Best not to push his luck. Lance walked on to Pidge's room, leaving Keith behind.

“You better have a good reason for waking me up like this,” Pidge growled as she opened the door to her room. Her hair was in disarray and Lance remembered, belatedly, how much value Pidge put on her sleep.

“Did the sword look familiar to you?” Lance blurted. “Because I get that Ulaz is part of a resistance but the pattern on it looked so familiar and I don't know why because it's not like we're interacting with the Blade of Marmora all the time but I feel like I've seen it somewhere and maybe you can do a scanny thing and figure out if it's on the ship?”

Pidge glared. Her honey eyes looked especially fierce in the dim light.

“You mean to tell me you woke me up in the middle of the night to help you find a dumb symbol?” Pidge screeched. “This couldn't have waited until morning?!”

“You're the only one who can figure it out, Pidge!” Lance pleaded. “You probably have a picture of the symbol somewhere so, I dunno, find out where I've seen it before!”

Pidge pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed heavily. She stepped aside and let Lance into her room. It was messy, bits of tech scattered around the room, and Lance almost dripped over a spare wire as Pidge grabbed her tablet.

“You have been across the universe, exposed to hundreds, if not thousands, of alien symbols from the castle alone, that doesn't include what we saw while attacking Zarkon or the ones from Arus, or any from our studies.”

“You recognize it though, right?” Lance asked.

“I _remember_ it,” Pidge clarified. She pulled up the sword from the camera feed on her tablet and showed it to Lance. She pointed to the symbol on the hilt of Ulaz's weapon. “This is what you're obsessed with, right? Tell me why you need to know.”

“I can't explain it but I just need to know,” Lance said. “I recognize it, Pidge, and I've never recognized anything alien before. It's just... it's important.”

“I'll look into it,” Pidge said slowly. “But I make no promises, Lance.”

“Thank you, Pidge!” Lance swooped down and spun her around in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Oh my god, Lance, put me down,” Pidge groaned. “Go back to bed, you lunatic.”

Lance practically skipped down to his room. He slid his hand to the panel and the door slid open.

It took him three seconds to realize that this was not his room.

Keith was sitting on his bed, holding a knife tightly in his hands. He glanced up at Lance and gasped. Lance tried to stop the lurch in his gut at the sight of Keith, relaxed on the edge of his bed, but it was too late, his stomach swooped and his face flushed.

“What are you doing up so late?” Lance asked.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Keith slid his knife underneath his pillow.

Lance felt his lips twitch into a small smile at that. Ever since Sendak, Keith had made a habit of keeping a weapon near him even when they slept. It had been a subject of much debate when they were together, one that Lance frequently lost. Lance's smile dropped.

“Just asking Pidge a question,” Lance said. “I'll, uh, just go then. Night, Keith.”

“Yeah, g'night.”

Back in his own bed, Lance couldn't fall asleep. He stared at the ceiling and wished he wasn't alone in bed. He wanted to feel Keith by his side, tease him about how having a weapon underneath their pillow was dangerous.

It wasn't Keith's bayard that was underneath their pillow, that would have been much less deadly, it was this knife that Keith had had forever. Lance rolled over in his bed and tried to remember what it looked like. Silver gray, unlike any metal Lance had ever seen before, and the hilt wrapped up in dark gray cloth.

Lance remembered when Keith was planning on running away how he grabbed nothing but that knife. He didn't even have shoes. Lance laughed to himself and rolled onto his side. The rain was so heavy Lance could see the purple glow through the cloth wrapping.

Purple!

Lance sat up straight and banged his head against the top of his bed.

“Ow, fuck!”

But he remembered the knife now, Keith's favorite knife, the only thing he had from his birth family. Late one night in the back of Lance's rusty red truck, Keith pulled out his knife and unwrapped it, showing Lance the glowing purple signal on the hilt. The same one on Ulaz's weapon.

Which meant that Keith had a Galra knife, one connected with the Blade of Marmora.

–

Pidge took the spore and ran off with it, Hunk and Shiro following her to the hanger bay. Keith pulled off his helmet and threw his hair back and glanced to his left at Lance. He looked beautiful, as always, face flushed from their impromptu fight outside the castle.

It felt good to play with Lance again, to laugh and tease like old times. Just Keith, his big brother, and his best friend having a good time. It was almost easy to forget that he and Lance were fighting or that there was a universe that needed saving.

Lance looked back at Keith and smiled, soft and gentle. Keith flushed and smiled back. Lance started walking to the bridge, gesturing with his head for Keith to follow. And follow Keith did.

It may have been his duty as a paladin of Voltron to make amends with Lance but it was his duty to his heart that pushed him. Keith had spent more of his life with Lance than without and he would sacrifice anything to be with Lance again. He wanted to go flying among the stars, Blue and Red racing between planets and moons. He wanted to stay up all night talking with Lance about home, about their small town. He wanted to show Lance the pattern of stars that almost matched the constellations back on Earth.

He wanted his friend back.

The bridge windows were opened and Lance looked small against the vast expanse of space. The were floating by a purple and pink nebula, the stars fading in and out of it as they drifted along. Lance had his arms folded, shoulders hunched over and foot tapping. Nervous.

Keith took a fortifying breath of cycled air and walked up so he was side by side with Lance but not too close, not even the faintest brush of clothes.

“I'm sorry,” Lance said. Keith glanced over but Lance was staring defiantly out the window, no smile on his face. “I'm sorry for yelling but I'm not sorry for what I said. I don't want to see you die, Keith. I don't think I could live with that. But I think I get it now. You're just doing what you think is best and I should respect that.”

A weight that Keith didn't realize he had been carrying was suddenly lifted off his shoulders. He felt lighter than he ever had before, just from hearing Lance's voice again.

“I'm sorry too,” Keith said, the words falling from his lips. He couldn't say the words fast enough, wanted to fix this and have Lance by his side again. “I should have talked with you first. It's just a lot is riding on us. The fate of the universe, of _Earth_ , is on our shoulders and we can't let them down.”

“I know.”

“So are we good?”

“Yeah,” Lance smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. He still hasn't looked back at Keith. “We can't form Voltron if we're fighting after all.”

Keith frowned. Lance didn't sound excited about it. Keith reached out and his fingers brushed against Lance's wrist. Lance pulled away and took half a step back from Keith.

“So we're friends again,” Lance said. “But just friends. I can't – I just – I don't think we should be together right now. I don't want to hold you back.”

“Lance...”

But Lance was turning away, hands in fists and shoulders held tight. The light in Keith flickered and died as the door slid shut behind Lance, leaving Keith more alone than ever. He came here to fix things and instead it felt like everything was still wrong between them.

–

Keith could barely keep his eyes open as he walked to the elevator, his towel heavy on his head. He was exhausted. They saved the Olkari, formed Voltron without the static between himself and Lance stopping their success, and were currently avoiding Zarkon with every thing they had. Keith was tired, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

A long soak in a pool sounded like a perfect way to relax.

He caught the elevator door before it could close only to see someone else already there.

“What are you doing?” Lance asked.

“Allura said there was a pool. I'm gonna check it out. What about you?”

“Same thing.”

Keith stepped into the elevator, holding onto his towel to keep his shaking hands occupied. Things between he and Lance were better so long as they were with the other paladins. When Hunk or Shiro or Pidge were there as a buffer, Keith could pretend it was like before, just himself and his childhood friends hanging out together.

But Keith had been avoiding being with Lance alone. Whenever he passed Lance in the hallways, his heart started pounding and his stomach twisted. He wanted to pull Lance in close and kiss him deeply. He wanted to slide up and lace their fingers together. He didn't want to be 'just friends' not after they were so much more.

The elevator slowly rocked and started to rise.

Lance was close enough that Keith could feel the heat radiating off of him. He smelled good too, some spicy aftershave he had borrowed from Coran. They were too close and there was no room in the elevator to move away, no one else to buffer the situation. It was just Keith and Lance in an elevator together.

He could do this. Keith would stay on one side of the pool, far away from Lance and his broad shoulders and long legs. If he was far enough away then he wouldn't do something stupid like make out with Lance in the pool – even though Keith was _very_ into the idea. He and Keith were friends, just like before. If Keith could hold onto his crush when he was thirteen and fourteen, then he could hold onto it now.

It was for the best after all.

The elevator shook and the lights went off.

The small space suddenly felt a hundred times more intimate. Keith could hear Lance's breathing, hyper aware of the inches of space between their arms. It wouldn't take much, just a shift over and they would touch shoulder to hip.

“Dammit,” Lance groaned. “Guess the teludav is causing power surges.”

“Or Coran's case of the slipperies is shorting out the system,” Keith suggested.

“So... do we wait or...?”

“We climb out,” Keith said, looking up the elevator shaft. “If we stand back to back, we should be able to climb up the shaft until we come to a door.”

“Then what?”

“Pry it open and climb out.”

Lance let out a breath and his fingers brushed against Keith's arm. “Okay. Let's do this.”

They linked their arms together and pressed their backs against each other. Keith took the first tentative steps up the wall, pressing against Lance, and slowly they walked up.

It was a bad idea, Keith realized almost immediately. He could feel every push and pull of Lance's muscles against his back, the firm biceps that were interlocked with his own. Each grunt and gasp for breath echoed in the narrow space as they kept walking up the walls.

But it worked. They were a good team.

They made it up to the vent, slid down the chute, and landed in a large room. The smell of pool water was heavy in the air and Keith felt a bruise build on his arm where he crashed into the ground. Lance was groaning beside him, rubbing his head where it had smacked the floor.

Keith stood up and stared incredulously at the ceiling.

“Fucking Altean pools,” he muttered.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” Lance exclaimed. He stood up next to Keith and rested his hands on his hips, staring up at the pool. “Figures that the one time I have to relax it's friggin' impossible!”

Keith smirked. “I could throw you up and see if the pool sucks you in.”

“As if you could throw me,” Lance scoffed. “If I remember right you couldn't even carry the bag of corn during the harvest.”

“At least I'm not the one who dropped the apples.”

“That was an accident and you know it!”

“Not the way Shiro tells it.”

“Oh sure, believe your brother instead of your best friend.”

Keith felt his body go slightly numb and he looked over at Lance, who was smiling softly and staring up at the ceiling pool. His best friend.

–

Sitting in a small pod with only Allura for company, Keith noticed just how vast space actually was. There was no sign of the castle, their communication system was too far to talk with the others. The only thing Keith could see were stars, few and far between. No planets. No life.

This was the vastness that frightened Lance. The endless nothingness. If Zarkon found him and Allura they might not make it back. He might able to fly out, like he had told the others, but there was a chance they just didn't make it.

A chance he doesn't make it back home to Lance.

“What happened between you and Lance?” Allura asked. “I mean – if you don't mind me asking. After you rescued me, you two seem different. I'm no expert in human interactions – ” (Keith snorted as he remembered the first time Pidge tried to explain sarcasm) “ – but you two appear to have gotten into a fight.”

“Yeah,” Keith muttered. “That sums it up. We got into a fight and, well, that's that.”

“You two are partners though,” Allura said emphatically. She gripped Keith's forearm. “In every sense of the word – you two are partners, life mates, bound in body and soul. What caused the rift? How can such a bond be broken?”

“Have you ever had a fight with someone you love?” Keith asked softly, staring out into space. “Someone who you know better than yourself? Fights like that aren't fair. No words cut too deep, no secrets are too sacred. Everything is used to hurt each other, every insecurity, every doubt.”

“I had a little brother.”

Keith snapped his head to Allura so fast his neck cricked. The grip she had on Keith's arm tightened slightly. Her head was bowed and eyes distant and glassy.

“Lance reminds me of him,” Allura continued in a small voice. “When Zarkon attacked Altea, my last memory before waking up here, I had gotten into a fight with him. I had said truly awful things to him that day of him never being worthy to pilot a Voltron lion. It was his only desire and his only doubt and I used it against him.”

“Allura – ”

“And I never got to apologize for it. Never got to remind my brother how much I love him, how very worthy he was to pilot a lion,” she looked up at Keith, her violet-blue eyes shining with tears. “Yes, Keith, I know those fights. But I also know what happens if it is not resolved. I know regret and pain and remorse that I will carry for the rest of my life. Don't let that happen. Love is far to precious to waste on such petty arguments.”

Keith reached out and placed his hand on Allura's, gripping it tightly.

“I don't know if I can do that,” he said.

“You must try,” Allura insisted. “And not just for the sake of Voltron, but for the sake of you and Lance. As I said, Lance reminds me of my brother and I've grown to consider you family as well. It pains me to see you both suffering.”

“We're friends,” Keith said quickly. “We've always been friends before anything else and, with everything that happened, we thought it would be better that way. To just be friends. It's too much right now.”

Allura pouted but didn't argue. Their communication system crackled to life and Coran's frantic voice was on the other line. Keith straightened his back and Allura let go of his hand. He pushed all his thoughts of Lance out of his mind and focused on the task at hand: returning to Voltron.

–

Lance rifled through the fountain, picking up each coin he came across and stuffing them into his already heavy pockets. Strange how a space mall was still a shopping mall, with families walking around and window shopping, young teenagers flirting at every corner and looking bored at various kiosks. There were even mall walkers, no doubt counting their space steps like suburban moms back on Earth.

It reminded Lance of the few times he and his family went shopping at the massive malls in Cuba, him and Gabi hand in hand as they dragged their family around to buy every shiny thing they could see. He remembered begging Aunt Maria to buy them ice cream and throwing coins into the fountain and watching Spencer try and flirt while Angelica bought far too much make up.

“Did you ever find that symbol?” Pidge asked, throwing a coin at Lance's face. “You know, the one that was so important you woke me up in the middle of the night about it.”

“Did you _not_ find anything?” Lance countered.

Pidge stuck out her lip. “No. It didn't match any alpha or numeric symbols in the known universe. I double and triple-checked it with every language the Altean library had for me which means it must be a picture of some kind but I can't figure out what it's supposed to represent. Granted, the Blade of Marmora is a super secret organization so there is a chance that they created this symbol off the record so no one could find them but – ”

“I remembered where I saw it,” Lance interrupted Pidge.

She ran up to him, water splashing up to her waist. Pidge grabbed him by the shirt and dragged him down to her level. “Where?! I spent the last _week_ searching for it!”

Lance shifted from where he was standing. “I don't know if I should tell you.”

“You better tell me, Lance McClain, or else I'm showing Allura all the baby pictures I got from Angelica.”

“You wouldn't!”

“Try me, fish legs.”

“Okay! Okay! Let's not get too hasty, Pidge,” Lance sighed. “I saw the symbol on Keith's knife. You know, the one he's had since he was a kid? It's on the hilt of it. He showed it to me once.”

Pidge let go Lance's shirt and her eyes widened behind her glasses. “But those are Galra knives, Lance. How did – ?”

“I don't know, Pidge.”

“Did you talk to him about it?”

“Pfft, no,” Lance scoffed. “We're not exactly on speaking terms right now.”

“Keith told me you guys talked,” Pidge said. “He said you two agreed to be friends again. What do you mean you're not talking?”

Lance shifted over to the edge of the fountain and sat down. He kicked his feet in the water and Pidge sat next to him. She rested a hand on his leg and squeezed it gently.

“He's my best friend,” Lance said. “Since we were nine, Pidge, we've been together and it all sort of, escalated. I don't even remember falling in love with him, it just sort of happened. Like it was the next step in our story and this feels like a step back and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to be normal friends with Keith. Every time I see him I want to hold his hand and kiss his face and – ”

“Whoa, too much, Lance!” Pidge punched Lance's shoulder. “Have you thought about just, I dunno, telling him this?”

“Pidge, you heard him when we had our fight. He doesn't... he doesn't care about me. He just keeps going straight into danger without thinking about me, about us. He just cares about being a paladin. He'd rather die saving the universe than stay with me.”

“I don't think so,” Pidge shrugged, kicking her feet in the water. “I grew up with Keith and, before you moved in, I was the closest thing he had to a best friend. So when he was freaking out about his crush on you, I was the one he talked to and, oh my god, Lance, he was _unbearable_. Even after you guys were _reunited_ and like, official, he wouldn't shut up. He would die for you, Lance. Not for the universe, not because he's a paladin, he's doing all this for _you_.”

“It's just... I wanted things to go back to normal and instead I think they got worse.”

“What's normal anymore?” Pidge stood up and gestured wildly around them. “We're in a space mall, Lance, in _space_ , collecting money to buy a new video game from an Earth specialty shop. What does normal mean anyway?”

“Speaking of money,” Lance pointed to the other end of the fountain where a pink alien was preparing to throw a coin in. “I think that's the last coin we'll need!”

“Lance!”

“I'm on it!” Lance jumped up and ran for it.

 

Lance was sitting on a cow with Keith flying through a space mall to escape a crazy mall cop. The strangest sense of déjà vu hit him and for a second, Lance was riding Father Jones's cow back through the fields with Keith laughing behind him, hands tight on Lance's hips. The memory faded and Lance was back in the space mall, riding Kaltenecker with Pidge wrapped around his middle and Coran jumping on behind Hunk.

Back on the Castle of Lions, everyone else rushed to the bridge with the new lenses for the teludav but Lance stayed next to his new cow, stroking a hand down his nuzzle and grinning to himself. A little slice of home on the ship.

“I can't believe you stole another one,” Keith mentioned, resting a hand on Lance's shoulder.

Lance kept his scream to a minimum and just barely kept still underneath Keith's hand.

“Excuse you, I did not _steal_ Kaltenecker,” Lance said. “He was free with purchase. And, if you remember correctly, I didn't steal the other cow either!”

Keith laughed. “Remember you asked me if I would visit you in jail for stealing a cow?”

“And you said you would, so there!”

“That's what best friends are for.”

Lance froze and Keith's hand tightened on Lance's shoulder. Lance turned his head slowly to look at Keith but he was looking down, snapping his hand back as if Lance had burned him. Keith coughed and walked out. Lance reached out towards Keith, fingers barely catching the hem of Keith's jacket but it didn't stop him and Lance grasped at empty air.

 


	4. Love Reborn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final scene gets pretty nsfw.
> 
> Don't forget the song "Let's Hurt Tonight" inspired the final confrontation and, if you listen to the song, you'll see some of the lyrics in the conversation.
> 
> But hey, this is it! Finally finished it! I had to with S.3 coming out and all that. The boys still have A LOT of progress to make, a lot of communication and boundaries to set, but this concludes this first, big hurdle for them and their relationship.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

“Hey, baby, you did it.”

Keith snapped his eyes open at the sound of Lance's voice. He knew that Lance wasn't here, wasn't at the Blade of Marmora headquarters, Lance was back on the ship, but hearing his voice, seeing him here, Keith felt the tears build up behind his eyes.

He struggled to sit up and a blurry image filled his vision. Lance was definitely standing there, holding his hand out for Keith. Keith took it without thinking, letting Lance pull him up. They stood face to face, fingers twisted together in a way that Keith hadn't felt in far too long – a way that felt like coming home.

“Look at you, Keith,” Lance was smiling brightly, just like the sun. “My boyfriend, the toughest fighter in the Blade of Marmora, Koivan even said so. C'mon, babe, let's go.”

“Wh – what are you talking about?” Keith asked. His body was aching from fighting, the cut on his shoulder on fire, and his heart couldn't handle the adoration in Lance's voice, a voice he hadn't heard in _weeks_. The softness and tenderness that lulled Keith to sleep when they first landed on Arus. Lance grabbed both of Keith's hands in his and lifted them up to his face, pressing a quick kiss to them.

“All you have to do is give up the knife and we can go,” Lance said. He leaned forward until their foreheads touched and Keith whined. “We can go back home, Keith. Not just to the castle, but _home_. Back to our little town, babe, with our own farm, down by the river, back on Earth.”

“I have to do this, Lance,” Keith said, tightening his grip on Lance. “This is the only connection I have to my past. I have to know who I am!”

“You're Keith,” Lance said softly. “You're a Paladin of Voltron. You're Shiro's little brother. You're my best friend, babe, the only one I have ever loved, the only one I will ever love. What more is there to know?”

“I have to do this, Lance You _know_ how important this is to me,” Keith pleaded. “Baby, please. Let me do this.”

“You don't have to, you're just choosing to,” Lance said. His face went sour and voice dropped. There he was, the Lance Keith had been working with since their fight. The angry, bitter Lance, lashing out in pain. “Just give it up, Keith!”

“I can't!”

“Yes, you can! Just give them the knife, Keith. Give them the knife and come home.”

“I can't, Lance. I just can't.”

Lance dropped Keith's hands and stepped back, leaving Keith feeling empty and cold. He reached out for him, desperately wanting to feel Lance's hands in his own, to be close to him again, but Lance kept walking away, just out of reach.

“Of course not,” Lance snapped. “I never was good enough for you, was I? Always rushing into danger head on, not thinking about me or what I want. Well, fine, Keith. Go find yourself but don't expect me to wait for you.”

Lance turned around and walked away.

That was a sight Keith was starting to hate seeing.

“Babe, no,” Keith whispered and then he was running, chasing after Lance. “Please, don't go! Don't leave me again!”

How many times had Keith let Lance slip from his grasp? Let him walk away and never look back? Lance, shining like the sun, always moving on to bigger and brighter things while Keith kept running away. First, running away to the Garrison and then running as a paladin, desperate to keep Lance safe.

He always assumed that it would be easy to fall back with Lance. They had been friends for years and Keith thought they could just pick it up from where they left off so many years ago. It should have been easy to slip back into their friendship but, maybe, that was the problem.

They weren't the same kids from Meadow Springs, stealing cows and drinking milkshakes. They weren't the teenagers growing up in different schools, sneaking alcohol in their trucks and laughing at the stars. They were paladins of Voltron, a beacon of hope to those in bondage across the universe.

Keith ran towards the light, chasing after Lance, and stumbled into his old house, face to face with a man he'd only seen in pictures.

“Dad?”

* * *

It was like catching his breath again after drowning. Like seeing the sun after being in a cave for centuries. Everything inside Lance lit up at the sight of Keith walking out of Red and into the hanger bay. He wanted to jump up and grab Keith and never let him go, but he stopped himself at the sight of the Galra soldiers beside him; Kolivan and Antok, leaders of the Blade of Marmora, with a plan to take down Zarkon.

“So what happened down there?” Hunk asked. “Red was going crazy, Keith.”

“It was called the Trials of Marmora,” Keith said and held up his knife. It flashed white and grew into a sword, one almost as large as his bayard. “I passed and now my knife is a sword. It's a little complicated.”

“Only one of Galra blood can awaken the blade,” Kolivan said. “Keith has mastered the trials, awakened his blade, and is one of our order.”

“Wait, Galra?”

The bridge exploded into chatter, Allura's high protests rising above them all. Shiro stepped in front of Keith and grabbed Allura by the shoulders, gently leading her away from the rest. Her eyes darted back to Keith suspiciously. Hunk and Pidge turned to Kolivan and both of them burst into questions.

“We don't have time for this,” Antok interrupted. “There is a war to win.”

It took hours for the plan to slowly take place, all the while Allura kept giving Keith dirty looks whenever he spoke up. Hunk fell asleep on his chair halfway through. Lance blatantly stared at Keith the entire time.

He didn't look any different. Still the same, gorgeous Keith. His hair was thick and luxurious, his eyes the same dark violet of the night sky, his lips turned in a frown. But he was different now too, Lance realized. This wasn't the same Keith that Lance chased to the Garrison on Earth. This wasn't even the same Keith that Lance had kissed under the stars on Arus, or trained with on the way to the Balmera.

This Keith was a soldier. He was a trained pilot, fierce and strong. This Keith was valiant and honest, willing to sacrifice his own self for the good of Voltron. Keith had grown up from the small daydream Lance remembered in Meadow Springs. He wasn't the bright eyed friend that Lance missed.

And Lance wasn't the same either.

That was it! Lance stood up straighter, eyes boring into Keith's skull. He had kept trying to push himself and Keith back into the molds he created for them when they were kids instead of thinking about where they were now.

Lance loved Keith, loved him more than he had words to say. Trying to stay away from him was impossible, trying to deny his feelings even more so. But Lance had been stuck in the past when they were teenagers in a safe, quiet town instead of moving forward to defenders of the universe.

This was going to be their last battle, Lance knew it, and like hell was he going into this without Keith by his side.

Hunk and Keith left first to find scaultrite from a giant, planet eating monster. Lance hugged Hunk close, his bro of all bros, wishing him luck. He pulled away as Shiro and Keith broke apart, both of them with tears in their eyes. Lance could imagine how Shiro must feel to send his little brother on a dangerous mission like this. Shiro moved to Allura for final details and Lance made his move.

He walked up to Keith, taking a steady breath as the distance closed between them. Keith's eyes widened as Lance came closer. Lance reached out with every intention to grab him, pull him close, and kiss him senseless. Then Keith smiled and Lance felt his impromptu plan fly out the window. Lance coughed.

“Um, good luck, Keith,” Lance eventually said.

“Good luck, Lance.”

Was he imagining it or was Keith's smile dimmer now? Hunk took him into Yellow and Keith looked back. Definitely a disappointed frown on Keith's face as he looked at Lance. Lance took a step forward but Yellow closed his mouth and Hunk flew them off.

* * *

Hunk piloted sure and steady through space while Keith hovered over his shoulder. There was a strange tension in the air between them and Keith shifted awkwardly. Hunk took his lion around an asteroid belt, his hands unusually tight on the controls, shoulders tense.

“Hunk, listen...”

“How could you, Keith?”

He didn't realize Hunk's voice could sound so cold.

“I know, I know, I made a mistake, a big mistake,” Keith sighed.

“Look, I backed you up,” Hunk said and he dodged an asteroid a little too close for Keith's comfort. “Lance loves you so goddamn much it's unbearable. I told him to be your friend. I told him to go back to you. And he's still just as messed up! I don't think he knows how to live without you and, I dunno, I don't think you know how to either.”

Hunk was right – Keith didn't know how to live without Lance. Lance was the first person to befriend him. Outside of his family, Lance was the most important person to him. But he was just... he was so much and Keith wasn't.

“He's overwhelming,” Keith eventually muttered. “He's so handsome and so smart, charming and funny. He cares so much about everyone too that sometimes he forgets about himself. I remember him staying up too late to help Gabrielle with her homework and missing his math final the next day because he overslept. Even when he was homesick, he still saved Coran when the crystal exploded. I guess I'm just convinced he's too much for me and someday he'll realize that. He'll find someone just as spectacular and leave me behind.”

“Oh my god, you're an idiot,” Hunk groaned. “Are we even seeing the same Lance? He looks at you like you hung the stars, Keith. That's not the only reason why you guys are fighting.”

Keith shrugged. “I guess... I guess it's because we're different now. Not just me and Lance, but all of us. We're not kids anymore. We have responsibilities and what we do is dangerous. I just assumed we could go back to how it was before I left and we didn't. Lance almost died, Shiro almost died. We're about to do the most dangerous thing in the universe and I'm scared, Hunk. I don't... I _can't_ lose him.”

The sensors in Yellow started going off and Hunk pulled them to a stop on a nearby asteroid.

“But I realized something during the Trials of Marmora,” Keith continued. “I love Lance. I love him so much it hurts. I love him so much I want to pull the stars from the sky and put them on his ceiling so he can see them. I want to make him laugh and see him smile. I want to hear his bad pick up lines for the rest of my life and I want to go back to Meadow Springs and start a family with him. I want to fall asleep next to him watching movies. I don't want to live without him and no matter what happens I'll always love him.

“Which means I have to trust him and we have to start over. Our entire relationship was built in a safe, little town. The scariest thing that happened is when I almost ran away. But this is different and I have to trust him and he has to trust me and... I want to do that. We haven't had a chance to talk since this whole paladin thing happened and both of us just assumed it would be okay but it's not.”

“That...” Hunk said. “That was the most adult thing I've ever heard. Congratulations on your adult relationship and communication.”

“Hey!”

“But you have a great point. We aren't the kids we used to be. Lance is my best friend too and, well, we had a long talk after the whole Sendak thing about what's best for Voltron and how we can still be friends and how to trust each other and I guess you two didn't?”

Keith shook his head. There was a lot of talking, a lot of reminiscing, and a _lot_ of kissing, but no serious talk about their relationship.

“When we get back, you talk to him,” Hunk grabbed the controls and pushed Yellow back into the asteroid belt. “But first, let's hunt a weblum!”

* * *

Lance shifted awkwardly in Blue's cockpit. He was painfully aware that this was the first time he'd been remotely alone with Shiro since he and Keith broke up. Shiro was one of Lance's friends, of course, but he was also Keith's older brother and he was a protective older brother at that.

“Sooo....” Lance started. He tapped his feet awkwardly. “Are we gonna have this talk now or later?”

Shiro sighed so loudly that Lance winced.

“I mean, you're Keith's brother, this is what's supposed to happen, after all. We had a fight and it's your job to come after me and make my life miserable.”

“But you're my friend too, Lance,” Shiro said slowly. “The way Keith tells it, you both messed up and said things you don't mean. Unless... do you want me to defend Keith's honor? Do you want me to yell?”

“I mean...”

Shiro came around the chair and put his hand on Lance's shoulder. His eyes were extra piercing today and Lance zeroed into Shiro's eyeliner (it was really sharp today).

“Lance, do you feel guilty?” Shiro asked. “Do you want me to yell at you because you feel like you deserve it? Is that what this is about?”

Lance looked down. He couldn't bear to look at Shiro's eyes, tender and concerned. He pulled up Blue as Beta Traz came closer. She purred gently across his mind.

“He tried to fix it,” Lance said. “Keith did. He came to me, a while ago, and we agreed to be friends, but I knew he wanted more and I wanted more and... I turned him down. I was scared, Shiro. I'm still scared! I don't want to lose him... I can't live like that.”

“Lance...”

“I mean, I couldn't, but I can now,” Lance barreled over whatever Shiro had to say. “Because whatever happens I can't live without him. I don't want to and I don't have to. I trust him, he trusts me, and I'm tired of pretending that this is okay when it's not. If we're going to do this, be the defenders of the universe, then I'm going to do it with Keith by my side.”

“Lance.”

“But I still hurt him and I don't know if he'd want me back and you should be mad because he's your brother.

“Lance!” Shiro shook him a little. “Lance, listen. Keith loves you. That boy loves you so much. If you tell him what you told me, you two will figure things out. You guys belong together. You've been through far too much together to lose it now.”

Lance's throat closed up and he nodded.

“I hate to break up the moment, but we're here,” Pidge said. “Let's go get this Slav guy and then you can fix your problem with Keith, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Lance nodded.

Blue vibrated beneath him.

_His love for you is strong. It will work out._

Lance ran a hand lovingly over the dashboard.

 _Thank you, beautiful_.

 

“And Keith is... well he's Keith,” Lance rambled on. He knew he was rambling but this Slav guy was easy to talk to. “He's always doing reckless things like running into danger or flying through asteroids and black holes. He says it's all for Voltron, to save the universe and all that and we, I don't know, broke up I guess. But he was my best friend and I thought if we were just friends then it would be the same but... it's not. I just... I miss him so much, you know? I want to fix things between us before we go down on Zarkon.”

“Yup.”

“Anyway, like I was saying, they all have something super special and awesome and I thought I was the sharpshooter but I guess no one else did.”

Lance stopped walking. His gut lurched and something in his chest seemed to constrict. “Maybe I don't have a thing. Maybe I'm just a fifth wheel, or seventh wheel if you count Allura and Coran. God, that's the worst wheel to be.”

“Yup.”

“You don't have to agree that fast!”

Pidge suddenly snapped onto the line, drawing Lance back to his mission at hand. He pushed Slav through the hallways and back to Blue. He could feel her presence in his mind, cool and calming and slightly questioning at his sudden bleak mood. Lance shrugged towards her and kept walking.

He met up with Shiro in the hallways, a strange alien wrapped around him with large eyes wide in terror. Shiro's face looked _pissed_ as he ran.

“You've stolen the Warden's pet yupper!” the alien said in a thick accent. “Oh, he won't like that!”

“Wait,” Lance looked down at Slav, or whatever it was. “You're an animal?!”

“Yup.”

Slav, the real Slav wrapped around Shiro's neck like a scarf, looked unimpressed. “I see the confusion.”

They burst back into the hanger, running into Pidge along the way. Standing between them and Blue was the Warden. He was fast and strong and, they were two paladins short of forming Voltron and kicking his ass. But they did have one, brilliant alien who helped turn the tide and send them flying out into space.

Blue hummed through his brain and her cold presence was soothing as they fled Beta Traz. Lance lined up the most vital shot of his life, not daring to breathe. Blue steadied his mind and he fired. Slav broke free of the Warden and wrapped himself around Shiro and they were free. Lance laughed and they flew far away from Beta Traz only to get hailed by Allura.

“Paladins! The creature on the Balmera is still alive and has come back! We need you now! We need Voltron!”

“Hunk, I know this is like, your girlfriend's planet, but every time we end up here something bad happens,” Lance said to Hunk as everyone's faces appeared on his dashboard. “Can we ever come to the Balmera and not have to fight a crazy alien?”

“Hey! It's not Shay's fault!” Hunk shouted. “Her planet is beautiful and they just started their life free of Galra tyranny!”

“So you admit she is your girlfriend?” Pidge said with a sneaky grin.

“This isn't the time for this discussion,” Shiro spoke up before Hunk could retaliate. “The castle is in danger and we don't have time for arguments. Hunk, keep the robeast distracted while we get our lions, then you can drop off Keith to get Red.”

As they came together to fight the robeast, Lance felt like they were more united than ever. These past days of bonding closer with their lions had brought them closer and all their hours on the training deck made them more capable of battle. They were soldiers now, capable of fighting as a team and he felt their minds meld and connect in Voltron. Lance could feel Pidge's determination, Hunk's fiery passion, Shiro's confidence, and Keith's adoration.

Lance paused there among Keith's emotions as Voltron's sword pierced through the robeast, cracking the crystal and shattering into space. Keith's emotions were hot like the fire his lion was known for and Lance tried to keep himself from tripping into Keith's mind, it was a sign of respect they all agreed on after they reunited. Turns out, though, Lance didn't have to jump into Keith's mind because Keith's emotions surged up to meet him.

It was unfiltered, unbridled love and adoration that swooped into Lance's mind like a firestorm. Lance could feel how much Keith was in love with him, how much the break up had hurt him. Keith had wanted nothing more than to see Lance while he was with the Blades of Marmora, wanted to tell Lance all the doubts he had as he learned about the truth of his knife. Lance was Keith's best friend, his first best friend.

Replaying in Keith's mind was the last time they saw each other, when Keith was going to the weblum and when Lance wanted to kiss him so bad and didn't. In Keith's mind, his imagination, Lance didn't chicken out. Instead, Lance swept Keith up in his arms and kissed him soundly. There were fireworks and tears and a fair amount of cheering from Hunk. And Lance wished, suddenly and viscerally, that he had kissed him then.

“-ance? Lance?”

Shaking his head, Lance came back to his own mind and his own emotions which he was blasting to the rest of the team; the emotions that reflected Keith's own almost exactly. The longing, the love, the ache of not being beside someone who had been part of his life forever.

“Lance?”

It was Keith. His face appeared on the dashboard. His eyes were wide and damp with tears and a small hopeful smile was playing across his lips.

“Oh, Keith,” Lance breathed.

Voltron disbanded and Lance's mind felt surprisingly empty without his fellow paladins, without Keith. He didn't move and Red floated in front of him. She was especially feline, her yellow eyes surprisingly warm as Blue hummed beneath him. She moved forward until their noses bumped.

Something hot shot through Blue's mental connection with Lance. She growled protectively and Lance felt exactly the passion and desire in Blue and Red and everything suddenly made sense. Why Blue hurt as much as Lance did after the fight, why she always seemed to seek out Red when they went out flying.

 _You never said,_ Lance thought to Blue.

 _I would never impose myself upon you, my paladin_ , Blue purred as she nuzzled up to Red. _Our emotions are intertwined and it would be improper of me to push my own love onto you if it was not meant to be. But it was, Lance. It was always meant to be_.

“Paladins!” Allura's voice rang out. “We must get to Olkarion. This is our final battle and we must prepare ourselves. Keith and Lance, I expect you two to sort yourselves out.”

“Sure thing, Allura,” Keith said, his eyes stuck on Lance. His cheeks were flushed red and he was still smiling.

“Yeah, of course,” Lance agreed.

 

Once on Olkarion, Lance realized something: he didn't want to have this conversation with Keith. He loved Keith, had always loved him and probably always will, if he was honest. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Keith, wanted that wedding he dreamed up weeks ago on the verge of death.

He had seen Keith floating out in space, take on hordes of Galra by himself, and almost die far too much for Lance's comfort. He wanted Keith back by his side more than anything and he knew that Keith felt the same.

He still didn't want to talk about it though. He knew he would have to. He told Shiro that he would. But he was scared. Their entire relationship had been easy, the next step they took was as easy as breathing, but this was difficult, this required communication and Lance just wasn't ready for it yet.

Couldn't he and Keith just get back together without talking? Just fall back into what they were without all this complication? Lance groaned. They already tried that and look where it got them.

Lance was on his way to his room at the Olkari palace when he saw Keith walking towards him, eyes narrowed in determination. This could get rough. Keith grabbed Lance by the shoulder and pulled him into Lance's room.

“That's enough,” Keith said as the door shut behind them. Lance's back was pressed against the wall and Keith was pressed up his front. He forgot how to breathe.

Like all things Olkari, the room Lance was given was designed with elegance and grace. It was a wide square room with a balcony looking over the city. The walls were only decorated with designs from the building, geometric patterns that twisted around the entire room. Lance's armor was thrown in a corner and his bed was a disheveled mess in the center of the room.

Keith reached around Lance to lock the door and, as Lance reached for the light switch, Keith grabbed his hand before he could reach it. With the light off, the room was only lit with the rising moon of Olkarion, casting long shadows across Keith's face. This was the closest that Lance had been to Keith since their fight and he looked stunning.

“We're not leaving this room,” Keith said ominously. “Not until we fix this.”

Lance pulled himself free from Keith and walked across the room to the balcony. He couldn't do this, not now, not in the closeness of his room. The intimacy was suffocating.

“Don't you walk away from me!” Keith followed right behind him. His voice was tight like it always was before he got angry. “And don't roll your eyes, I know you're doing it.”

Lance stopped his eyes, halfway through a roll, and spun on his heel. Keith was right behind him, nose to nose in fact. Keith's bright eyes were as clear as ever and Lance swallowed thickly, not missing Keith's eyes flicker down to the movement. His back was pressed up against the railing on the balcony.

“I love you,” Keith said firmly. He put his hand on Lance's chest, fingers digging into the fabric of Lance's shirt. “I love you so much, Lance. I don't ever want to lose you. These last weeks were hell and I _never_ want to do it again.”

“I love you, too,” Lance lifted his hands to cradle Keith's face. “I have always loved you. I love you so much it hurts. I can't watch anything happen to you and seeing you always run to danger and leave me behind _hurts_.”

Keith pushed himself closer to Lance, their chests pressed together and noses brushing against each other. His eyes were smoldering and Lance could feel the warmth bleeding through his shirt.

“Of course love hurts,” Keith said. “It always has. But it's worth it, Lance. You and I? We're worth it. I don't want to do this without you. I _can't_ do this without you.”

Lance relaxed himself into Keith's embrace, their foreheads pressed together. He sighed with relief. Feeling Keith's hand slide up Lance's chest and rest around his neck was as familiar as walking home on dirt roads. Feeling Keith's breath ghost across his lips sent a shiver down Lance's spine.

“Keith, babe,” Lance could barely breathe and desire uncoiled inside of him.

“Let's hurt tonight,” Keith was close enough that his lips brushed against Lance's.

Lance pulled Keith up for a proper kiss, open mouthed and warm. This is what Lance had been missing. Keith's soft hair beneath his fingers, feeling Keith's hot hands on the back of his neck. Keith dragged him back into the room, legs bumping into each other.

Keith bit at Lance's lip and Lance gasped, yanking his head back. Keith's eyes were scalding violet, his lips swollen and slick. He grinned, tongue swiping over his teeth, and leaned back in, mouth attaching to Lance's neck and sucking _hard_.

His arms reflexively tightened around Keith's shoulder, pulling him closer and keeping that suction on his neck. Each brush of Keith's teeth on his neck send jolts of pleasure down his spine.

“Keith!”

Their hips shifted and lined up and Lance's hips jerked up. Keith's fingers were digging into his back and he trailed his lips up to bite at Lance's ear.

Then Lance was spinning, his head dizzy and knees jelly as he landed on his bed. Keith growled and yanked his shirt off, throwing it into the corner. He fumbled with his belt and pants, kicking them off as well. Then it was just Keith in a pair of boxers, face and neck flushed red. Lance sat up in his bed and stared.

“Gonna sit there gawking?” Keith smirked.

Lance flung his shirt off and shimmied out of his jeans. He was so hard it _hurt_ and he crawled over to Keith, grabbing him by the hips and pressing a tender kiss to his waist. He kissed up Keith's torso, his fingers dragging down to grip at Keith's thighs.

There was a thick scar over Keith's shoulder and he kissed along the scar tissue there. His fingers slid up and he tucked his thumbs in the waistband of Keith's boxers. Keith's palms slid up and down Lance's back and tightened as Lance kissed along his neck.

Keith's hips jerked as Lance's lips latched onto his pulse point. Lance could feel Keith's dick, hard and heavy, against his own. Keith's hips pushed again and the friction sent Lance's mind spinning. His fingers tightened against Keith's thighs and he pulled their hips tighter.

“Oh, oh, Lance,” Keith muttered, hips moving jerkily. His breath was coming out in gasps, nails digging into Lance's back. “D-don't stop. Keep – keep going.”

Lance thrust their hips together, the pressure building so much that it was starting to ache. Lance felt like he couldn't get close enough. His fingers started to slip on Keith's sweaty legs. He couldn't catch his breath and he wasn't kissing Keith's neck so much as breathing against it, hot and heavy.

“You feel so good, babe,” Lance muttered. “I always knew you would.”

Keith pushed Lance down until his back hit the mattress. He straddled over Lance's hips, hand on Lance's chest, dick pushing against the confines of his boxers. Keith's violet eyes were black with desire and Lance swallowed thickly.

“I'll show you good,” Keith snarled.

Then Keith's hips were moving slow and seductively over Lance's crotch. Lance was lost in the sight of Keith's chest, his stomach, the quivering muscles and look of wanton pleasure on his face. Lance wondered with Keith would look like actually riding his dick instead of rutting up against him.

The pleasure rose in Lance's gut. He gasped and threw his head back and still, Keith rutted against him. His hips moved like liquid and his hair was starting to stick to his neck and face. If he kept this up... Lance wasn't going to last much longer.

“Ah!” Lance cried out.

His vision went white as he came, hips pressed up against Keith's. Keith was kissing him then, hot and opened mouthed while Lance tried to catch his breath and slow his heartbeat. Blindly, he reached down between them. He slipped his fingers down into Keith's boxers, hand grasping Keith's cock and tugging it.

It didn't take long for Keith to climax and Lance jerked him the entire way through until Keith was keening and pulling away.

“Too much,” he gasped into Lance's mouth.

They laid there, sweaty and gasping for breath. Keith curled himself next to Lance, his hand resting across Lance's chest. Lance laughed to himself, breathless with disbelief. Keith punched him halfheartedly, but started to laugh as well.

“I always thought our first time would be romantic,” Lance confessed. “I would take you to dinner and we would come back and have a huge bed with candles and roses.”

“You hate roses!”

“And it would be slow and gentle. The kind that love stories are made of.”

Keith snorted and buried his face in Lance's neck. He slung a leg over Lance's hips and tugged him closer.

“I was pretty sure it was gonna be like this,” Keith said. He traced down Lance's chest with his fingertips. “We're too spontaneous for something that would require that much planning.”

“I dunno,” Lance shrugged. “First kiss was pretty romantic.”

“Nothing more romantic that two drunk teenagers making out in the bed of your truck.”

“Underneath the stars! And you held my hand and said we'd be friends forever and your eyes were so bright that night that if I didn't know I loved you already, that would have been the moment.”

Keith softly kissed Lance's neck. “Wasn't the moment the day you got your truck?”

“Yeah,” Lance's hand ran up and down Keith's arm. “That was the moment. What about you?”

“Hmm?”

“When did you know you were in love with me?”

Keith shifted so his head was resting on Lance's chest. Post-orgasm Keith was beautiful, glowing and soft around the edges. There was a faint bruise starting to show on his neck and Lance reached out to touch it.

“I dunno,” Keith blinked slowly. “Probably when I made you the friendship bracelet.”

“What?!” Lance sat up, dislodging Keith from his chest.

Keith blushed. “I didn't know that it was love at first, at least not this kind of love. I just knew that I wanted to spend forever with you. I think, though, it was when you came and found me, the day I almost ran away, that I realized exactly what kind of love it was.”

“What kind of love is that?”

“The kind that lasts forever.”

“You know we have to figure this out, right?” Lance said quickly. “How you and I are going to be together and be Voltron and - ”

Keith kissed him.

“You're right, Lance, of course you are,” Keith said. “And we will! But right now, I just want to cuddle you. We're about to go on a final, desperate mission to end Zarkon. When we finish that, we can talk as much as you want. But... but I missed you. I missed this, being next to you, sleeping beside you. Being able to kiss you whenever I want. This is what I want to remember before we leave.”

Lance melted. “I missed you too.”

 


End file.
